All That I Want Out of Life....

All I want out of life is to fall in love and marry.  I've fallen in love twice before but neither time has it been with someone who felt the same, I do not know if I can do it again yet I crave it more than anything else.  I want to devote myself as a husband properly should devote himself to his wife. 

To me that means to give myself to her completely, put her needs, wants, and goals always ahead of my own, make her happiness my first priority in life no matter the cost to me.  I've no wish to stifle her or hold her back in any way, I want her to pursue whatever she wants to in life, I only ask the honor of providing for and supporting her in anything she does.  In return all I ask is that she accept my offer and let me share in her life, let me prove to her that her wish is my command, that anything she wants of me she need only ask it and it shall be done.

Is this urge to find that special person, marry her, and spend the rest of my life giving her everything I can so wrong?  I can't imagine any other way for me to love someone...

FranzJosef FranzJosef
26-30, M
8 Responses Aug 1, 2007

I know how you feel. I am turning 29 this year and have been praying for marriage for four years now. I'm not sure where you are with your walk, but I am not even close. Let's hope it happens for both of us!

I've not yet had the opportunity to give myself, I've had to hold it in check because I know it can scare people off, its frustrating that I've yet to find someone who is both willing and (at the risk of sounding arrogant) worthy of it. Its not that I think I'm something special, I know better than that, I just want to make sure she is the right person, that she will appreciate what I have to offer. If she wants to give so much back then I am open to that, however, I don't think I quite got what I was trying to say across. I don't really have any dreams for myself, my dream is to help her pursue and attain her dreams, to make her dreams my dreams for lack of a better way to express it. If I can be a part of that, can help her reach her goals and dreams, help her find and be a part of her happiness, then she has given me all that I want.<br />
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Not sure if thats much clearer but there it is. :)

It's nice to hear this stuff from a guy but everyone else is right don't give so much of yourself all at once. make sure she is the right one and that she won't walk all over you. if a female sees a guy is willing to do everything for her she will take advantage of that she might marry you but not really love you. She should give you as much as you give her. Like my boyfriend says it's a team effort it's not just about you or me cause we need to work together to get through life's daily struggles it's about us. I wish you luck on your quest for true love.

First I have to say your willingness to devote your entire being to someone is a rare and very admirable trait. It truly takes a selfless person to be able to do it. <br />
It just seem to me that focusing your life on someone else's every command could be exhausting and lead to a burn out. Every successful partnership that I have ever witnessed have treated love like a Christmas present that gets wrapped and given each day back and forth to each other. People see love as a gift that first they must take the time to wrap up in different shaped and sized packages so that it never looks the same twice. And everyday, you give it to your partner and they return a different package to you each day. Everyday the contents of the package change in size and shape so you really won't know what love looks like that day. But as soon as you unwrap it you can see that it's love. You know you will unwrap love tomorrow but you are still excited because you don't know where you will find it or what it will look like. If two people are able to withstand this daily exchange then they have a perfectly balanced relationship. Describing the kind of relationship that you want, it seems like you would be the only one giving. I just hope that you would be more open to letting someone give back to you all that you plan on giving. Just don't lose yourself and treat love like it's a race. No one's needs should be put ahead of another persons. To me love is more of like a three legged race. You need to work together to get across the finish line.

All that I ask the other person to give in return is their fidelity to their vows. I mean it when I say that I will have no other, I think that it is only proper that she share that commitment. Aside from that, simply be honest with me at all times as I will do the same, and follow your dreams, whatever they may be. I do not think I have any right to demand more of her. <br />
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'Follow your dreams' may seem a strange thing to ask that she give in return but I don't really have any dreams myself other than to marry and stay with her for life, never really have had any dreams other than that and to learn machining and gunsmithing as I've always loved to work with metal. That I am doing right now so that is fulfilled. That said, I would gladly walk away from that dream if that is the price I must pay to find that special person. I fear only one thing and that is being alone my entire life, finding someone I can committ myself to for life is more important to me than my hobby/career. As I stated above, I am willing to push all of my own needs and wants into the background in order to satisfy hers. I do not want to neglect myself, I just want to put her as my first priority in life and make myself as entirely secondary as I can.

I totally agree with the other comments. I think that relationships have to balance themselves out. If you are so willing to give so much of yourself to someone, what is it that they can give back to you?

There is nothing wrong with having your Number One priority as Long Lasting Love. However, I think that even women who want to be loved the way you want to love them might be scared off if you project this outward. Big Love is very intimidating and scary stuff to face up to, and makes people flee, if it's not introduced at a pace appropriate to the context. There is definitely a time and place for such true passion and devotion, but I think the true romantics know how to control these feelings until the right moment. Also, I think it is far better to be the rock that she can depend on... not the doormat that she wipes her feet on :)

Be careful that you don't give up too much of yourself in a relationship. You want to make sure that the person she started dating isn't consumed by the desire to meet her needs. Stay true to yourself!