Best Friend With A Vagina

My wife of 23 years, I love her very much, but the loving is gone. Our so-called sex life has been gradually degrading throughout the last 10 years.
She knows she has something that I desire, something I crave, but none the matter refuses to allow me access to her treasure. Time and again I have tried to initiate only to be rejected. It seems as though some type of curse has been cast upon me. I'm not getting any younger here and have begun to wonder if I will ever again experience any type of sexual intimacy with her. I feel like I still have alot to give if only she would allow me to. Believe me, I have tried but have tired from the efforts I make. I keep myself healthy and fit, something thats good for my self esteem but it doesn't spark her at all. So, I have noticed a change in myself recently. I believe I may just be throwing in the towel here. Something inside me has changed where I no longer desire her sexually. I guess it has taken a toll on me. I now have fantasies and desires of which I thought I never would have. Crazy is how I feel. But am I really crazy to have these urges? Even moreso, to act upon these urges? I have to find ways to keep myself alive sexually or I will dry up and die. Recent fantasies and desires have gripped me and driven me in the direction toward men. It may sound strange how I could possibly be in this frame of mind but I somehow have been rejuvinated. I feel alive again. Since joining EP I have found the boat I'm in is pretty large. There are just too many men in marriages such as mine, living without, reaching out on here, and it saddens me. But at the same time gives me strength to move forward. I guess you could say that I'm now more interested in a best friend with a penis.