They Just Don't Make Friends Like They Used To.

This was one of my first blogs here at EP. It seems apropos that i cross post it within this experience group.

"I used to have real friendships. I mean, you would do anything to help your friends. Bail them out of jail. Loan them your car, or drive them 3 or 4 hours to the airport. Help them when they were sick or just down and needing company. I battle with becoming cynical because I just don't see real friends coming forward when people need them the most."
My mood: very emotional

I wrote this as i was starting to get the impression that my Mother was being abandoned by Her friends when She needed them the most. She suffers from Parkinson's Disease. And PD bites. So do the drugs that they prescribe to treat it. A friend of mine put it best with: "They take a perfectly sane person who has a mobility issue and turns them into somebody who can move but is absolutely crazy." And that describes my Mom in a nutshell.

Now i developed some really deep friendships in my 20's as i may have suggested. We were there for each other. You helped somebody kick heroin. You helped a person through chemotherapy when it was an extremely unpleasant ordeal and not nearly as efficient as it is today. If a couple broke up you provided a place for the heartbroken. The unemployed a place to crash and some grub to eat. Traveling as i did following the Grateful Dead. We would swing the van through the parking lot of some huge sports complex like the Meadowlands or Soldier Field one more time, just to make sure that everybody had a ride. That there wasn't some young teenage girl dosed out of her skull wandering aimlessly with no idea who she came with where she was staying or how she was getting home. Everybody got into the show, had a place to stay, and a ride out of town.

And that kind of caring attitude to the community at large was reflected in what you did on a more intimate level within your "posse" your "circle". I used to know three guys who i considered "my quorum". And it seemed to me that any one of us wouldn't dream of making a big decision without consulting the others first. It felt solid. Rents got paid, vehicles were repaired, friends found themselves hooked up with jobs.

And then there was "your bro or sis". This was the guy who knew you inside out or the girl you almost hooked up with but ended up developing a deep platonic friendship with. They knew your fears, you knew what made them cry and what issues they would never get over. They would go home with you for Christmas because you didn't want to face your parents alone with your dreadlocks, tattered tie-dye , and Guatemalan shorts.

I would hate to think that those friendships are just something "you grow out of" when "you get serious" about life. I know they're out there.
johnnybliss johnnybliss
41-45, M
Jul 29, 2010