I Need Daddy :'(

hello there..i am a girl who always dreaming to meet my real dad personally..i never seen him or hug him since because my mother left my dad when i was in her tummy.

now that i am in the exact age, i want to meet him but how can i do that?i feel shy everytime im trying to ask my mom where is he.where is his address,.i just want to tell him that id still love him even if he never find me...i dont know what the real story why there relationship didnt last..
im hoping :'(
iwanttomeetmydad iwanttomeetmydad
22-25, F
3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

I have that same problem, I am 12 years old and I have never got to meet my dad. Every night I look him up. All my mom told me was his name. I used my resources and found out where he lives. I also found out that he has facebook and I am really scared to tell my mom that I want to meet him.

As for your shyness and desire to profess your love for him, these are at the heart of both your risk and reward. Both are really about YOUR need for his approval and, even more importantly, acceptance, so that you may feel freer to find your place in life with an open heart. So many women 'act out', in ways often contrary to both their own natures and their own best interests, because they lack the sense of psychic grounded-ness that some mislabel mere 'safety'. The best men, in an ideal situation, manifest this for their daughters in the loving ways in which they treat their mothers. (So much of our societal angst flows directly from the terrible messes which we've made of our family lives. If I would ask only one thing of your generation, then it would be that more of you do better than either we boomers or the GenX'ers did.)

One word of caution: sometimes, the 'prize' in a box of Cracker Jacks is the small stone that breaks your tooth. That said, if you can keep both the possibility and the reality of disappointment in perspective, then I think that you should explore this further. First, though, get things straight between yourself and your mother, assuming that your relationship is one which you value. In case of resistance on her art, this is one of those times when a psychologist who specializes in family relationships may be in order, prospectively. Your mother may well have misgivings which need to be drawn out, either about you or him or her own fears about what this might do to your relationship with her. Joint AND individual sessions (with each of you) may well be necessary, so go slow and be thorough. Do it up right, both so that you don't mess your lives up and so that you don't mess up what may have worked out well if started out right.

One thing to keep in mind, which should be explored in session: your father may have never known a thing, other than that he had sex with someone. It's even possible that your mother doesn't know who he is. Even parents have feet of clay. You both need to proceed with all due care for the souls of the others who are or may become involved.
(Maybe that's presumptuous of me, writing that, I don't know. I'm just trying on a daddy hat that I've never worn in RL, but I bothered to answer because the little girl peeking through the young woman's words shines to me. Polish that shine with a non-abrasive cleanser, if you can, so as to preserve its luster. Fare thee well, little one.)