Killing Me. :(

Does time really heals? It hurts so much.
It's been five months since we broke up.
I had a six months relationship with this guy whom I thought who loved me
but I was wrong.

I was so happy with him within those months.
He showed me to be loved and how it is to be in love.
But after six months of passionate love with him.
He left me. He didn't fight for me.
I broke up with him through text but chased him five months through text also.
He didn't even look at me on how I am going.
I suffered depression because of him.
He didn't replied to my hundreds text messages and
many calls, even a bit.
He just told me that he don't want me anymore and that
he has found a new girl better than me and that he don't need me.

It hurts too deep but I am still in the process of moving on.
This happened January. Today is May.
When will be the time that I would stop thinking about him and think about myself?
It hurts so much. Time flies and still I can't move on.

Moving on is a hard circumstance.
Now, I am hopefully wishing that one morning when I woke up I'll forget him
and every heartbreak he has done to me.

It hurts so much like hell.
I wonder why people come and will just hurt you; leave you hanging on nowhere.

Finally, I am beginning to accept that he would never come back but I am
still hoping for his kiss, even a last kiss.

I loved him so much. I guess, I love him still.
lovelymade lovelymade
18-21, F
4 Responses Jun 5, 2011

you will move on and time does heal the pain.

I know how you feel, my story is quite similar and i also suffer with anxiety and depression. All i know is that my faith in Jesus is my only strength, even though there are days that i still struggle, i have nothing left but him&my parents, who help me through this. Since last year Sept 2010, my depression & anxiety got worse- because of the relationship i was in, we may have loved each other at that time, but it ended because he would be constantly commenting on other girls, and that he admitted that he cheated. He also quickly replaced me & played me. Now almost a year later i am still depressed because of other circumstances, but not deeply depressed as before with the heartache. The only way i had to get through this tough heartbreak, is through prayer of forgiveness. I forgave him even though he didn't know or care, this is hard but once i forgave that person it was for my healing, not for the other person. Know this, You deserve better, and everyday with Jesus you will become stronger.

My depression and anxiety kills me.

Sometimes things aren't meant to be and we have to move on. If you text a guy once and he doesn't answer that is one thing but to text him hundreds of times is too much. It makes you look needy and most guys aren't looking for needy girls. You may have to move on and find someone perfect for you. I know it is hard but you need to do it for your own mental health.