Anyone Else Feel This Way?

I broke up my my ex about 6 months ago now.
We were together for 3 years, though our relationship was not very healthy. He was a liar and a cheater. I probably was a little overbearing, who knows? We were very on again off again; and last year when I decided to end things for good, I found out I was pregnant. Well, as one figures babies do NOT solve any relationship problems. He was ok during my pregnancy, during the end things started falling apart again. So, January of this year I ended it for the final time. We went and got a custody order and visitation rights and all.

I just mainly have so much anger towards him. I still can't believe how you can give so much to someone and they continuously let you down and treat you like dirt. I feel like I'm so angry now, its like a rush for me to move on and I don't know why.. I've dated several people since January, nothing serious. I want to prove to him that I can find better.

I find myself FB stalking him from time to time to see if he's moved on(I know I need to stop). I still feel jealous, again I cannot fathom WHY? Its like I know I don't want to be with him, we're not good together but I have so much resentment towards him and any other woman he expresses intrest in.

I dont know if I'm truly ready to move on, I'm trying to just focus on my daughter and myself. I have my good and my bad days, but I remain very hopeful that one day I wont care about anything he does. Hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.
PrettyGirlBlues PrettyGirlBlues
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 10, 2012

Feel exactly the same way about me ex. We broke up in jan 2013. A week later I found out I was pregnant. Up until 5 days ago I had an abortion at 17 weeks. I regret it till this day. He didn't want the baby and I felt that by keeping my baby I was hanging onto him. It was all I had left of us and the relationship. I didn't want to be reminded of him ever time I looed at the baby. Now I regret my decision. I envy you for keeping your baby. Wish I had the courage to do so. Now I feel empty and am still not over him.

I know what you're going through... no baby here though.. if you want to talk I'll be happy to listen.