Hypocrites And Liers
Hello my name is Damien. I lived in Madrid, Spain, Japan, and Gulfport, Mississippi for about 12 years because of my dads military career and 10 years in Crestview, FL because of my step dad. I lived a happy and peaceful way until money became the object of both my gambling parents. There have been times when I took it upon myself to help my mom when the chance popped up because I was taught to have good manners and I still hold these values. I have had friends come and go and learned lessons that took me a step further into my life. I was always a curious learner and had a sense of knowledge about me to want to know about everything which isn't possible, but I always had a problem with my family no matter who it was I have bad luck for no reason when I don't try to pull jinx. I learned to be patient and collective in stressful situations when times became too hard for me and it's still hard on me. I try my best at anything and if I don't it just means I'am too lazy to do anything. For a time it was getting better when my mom met my step dad and moved to Crestview, FL. For the moment I have been frantically trying to find a job with no help from people who I thought were supportive for the last 5 years because I moved out of my parents house 3 times and tried to make it. Trying to find a job in this economy has been tough, but in this area I found out that people only care to hire you if your a friend or family to them and most of the time managers don't even look at your application. The home situation isn't getting better, I observed my mom's bingo habit and even though she saids she uses only 60$ -100$ shes actually using 300$ a day a losing it on a daily basis which calls for reason she likes to blame me for her troubles. I know my moms marriage is a little broken and my parents live paycheck to paycheck but there is no excuse to lie about using money for gambling by stating there are bills to pay when theres not. it's more like paying an invisible bingo bill for nothing when it could be used to be saved up. Worst part is my step dad allows these antics to slide, but he refuses to help me in the financial support for gas in my car which would be helpful to get me a job. Not to mention, my lazy sister has a knack of trying to be superior just because she got it all money, expensive clothes, jewelry, college, apartment, and utilities paid off courtasy of my once generous parents, but to me they act like I'm some maid they can use to clean up their messes which I don't mind unless it's a mess my sister makes and my parents don't tell her to do anything and she can lounge all she wants while my parents give me the same speech over and over again about saving money, letting my sister do what she wants, the same conversation I can't stand to hear. Thats not the end of it both my sister and my step dad are against me, but my mom sounds like a double agent when it comes to conversations I can't say anything to her without her telling my dad or sister like a immature child and spending large amounts of money on bingo. I feel trapped and insecure and want to break these chains with their heads because this is just getting old. I know the formula for moving out which is money, job, and shelter, yet the problem persist because money is needed to get somewhere. I don't want to lose the kid that I'am because it makes the best part of me and I want to be more responsible and free like everyone before me who attempted their gracious escape. 22 years of B.S. and I'm tried of it all sometimes. Right now my plans involve some creative thinking. My girlfriend to get a place together, both of use have jobs, and probably some financial help from the government for food stamps and paving my way back to college so I can have an education higer then that of an idiotic high school diploma. Maybe some luck and a little patience will get me somewhere I just hope more then ever that this will work which will this time. I don't know a quick smile and looking for my future like I used to think when I was no older then 4 years old will get me through this.