Unhappy In Ny, Help


Recently, I was able to visit someone in California (near San Diego) and I fell in love with it.  I have always been affected by the dreaded Winters here in NY for most of my life (I am mature late 20's)!  The weather is more bad, than good.  I am so unhappy here, weather being one of the big factors, but not the only factor .. It almost feels like my life has become "stagnant."  I feel like I am at a stand still.  I have tried to change my attitude and mind about this time and time again, but I know I don't belong here anymore.  It is time to branch out.

I am well educated - have my M.S degree and training...I think I could find a job elsewhere even with a poor economy if I really put my mind to it.  Although, I am established in my career for a good number of years now here...  I am willing to give up my career and possibly a cut in pay for this move.. there is no "Transfer" type thing as an educator.  I also make a pretty decent living now to support my bills, cost of living, etc.  I would probably have to start all over again elsewhere.  I could always come back to visit family and keep those close ties since they mean a lot to me.  I feel like if I don't do this sometime in the near future, I will be stuck here forever.  It has come to the point where I am researching weekly on apartments, areas in California, etc to get more information. 

The only problem that prevents me from making my dream become reality ASAP is that my long term, serious BF has more attachments to this area (self-employed, etc).  I know he also cannot stand the lack of sunlight, but I think he enjoys the actual area more than I.  More like, he can tolerate it and let life go on and be okay with it.  Emotionally, I am not able to do that. 

I have one foot out the door to get out of this area... but does this mean I have to sacrafice the man I will marry to make my dreams come true????  We have a very good relationship and are a good match.  I am not sure it's as possible in his situation to move easily due to buisness contacts, etc... plus, the willingness to move is not as natural for him.  He knows how I feel.. and is open minded, but I don't know how far that will get me.  I don't know how much longer I can take it living around here.  Any advice, insight, anything?

mizsamantha mizsamantha
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 16, 2009

Yes work is a big factor, I wish you my best...though as I native NYer myself who relocated to Los Angeles I must warn you...it's very different living there as opposed to visiting, LITERALLY! Other fellow NYers have had the same thing as I have happen..CULTURE SHOCK! major culture shock....Many transplanted NYers never adjust and move back...many, then for those of us who didn't, well it took me 8 years to adjust!!!!!!
Then the earthquakes well I was in the epicenter of the last major one there! I nearly got killed and some of my neighbors did get killed...I now live nearby in southern Arizona, as a result...hate it enough here that if it were not for financial reasons I'd move back to NYC in a NY minute!
The weather is the only good thing about the southwest, in my opinion, but it's not everything.
Though I do miss L.A a little bit. But forget it when it comes to italian food out here!

<p>yes, san diego is nice, i moved there over 30 years ago from fla, i love it in calif, best places to live in sandiego is la.jolla and coronado island or north county where the professional live, i would not move to los/a it is nasty big city,<br />
<br />
east county of san diego there are blue collar types. it is hot in east county and many places dont have a/c but it gets cooler at night about 20 to 30 degress lower.</p>

You say you and your BF are a good match. While that may be true in many respects, you have a desire to relocate across the country and I can tell from your story that it sounds like something that would make you very happy. Your BF does not share the same desire. This I think is a pretty serious divide. It's clear you have a choice to make.

Man,I am in the same boat as you. I live in Ct and I just recently got out of the military and I started going to school, but I wanna move the the San diego area as well. The only thing holding me back though is the fact that I am a little nervous about going by myself. Money really isn't a problem since I have a good amount saved that it should hold me over till I find a job over there. Ahhh the agony!!!!!!