Learning Curve

I recently met a guy, we seem to be kind of similar and I love talking to him. We arrived at a conclusion that we are going to be sex buddies because he is not looking for a relationship and neither am I. This is so embarrassing but at 26 I am learning how to french kiss :S

Whats more is that I am discovering how lacking my sex life with my ex fiance was. We hardly made love, all it was is *******, which was only good because I used a bullet to help me ******. I really did try to be creative, dress up, and I really needed him to step up and he never did. I am shy by nature and when I made the effort to come on to him he would tell me that it is a "turn off", then he told me that I need to be tighter inside, that he "just doesn't like giving oral" (but likes receiving it from me), that i need to loose weight, and the last but not least is that he is just not interested in sex. On top of all this he suffered from PE and I never insulted him about it, I just introduced the bullet into the routine and learned ****** with that. Now though all this I am starting to realize how much of my self esteem and confidence suffered because of my ex.

So this new guy that I met, he has had experience with PE and is now writing an e-book to help other guys deal with their. Being with him I am learning so may things, ahem how to french kiss which is really exiting (ex didn't like to french kiss). I have to say that the whole sex buddy thing is a bit weird for me, but I feel very open with him in the sense that I can openly talk about anything and he doesn't intimidate me, maybe bc he is my height and I feel big next to him, go figure. Anyway as we started playing he was giving me oral, and I have so many hang ups from my ex that it is really hindering my enjoyment of the moment, even though I get really really wet I just never reach that peaking point. So I just tell him to stop and I give him pleasure. This guy is so responsive that I love giving him a blow job, it gets me exited. And I think I may have perfected my technique :) The sex is nice, i like the feeling of it, he definitely hits some good spots and I am so wet but again just no ******.

So I was thinking that it is time to start learning how to ******....without toys, but every time I do it without a vibrator it just doesn't reach that intensity and doesn't feel as good. But I am not giving up, I decided that since i cant weed myself off the vibe at the moment I can at least learn how to move in different positions and really see what actually feels good without a man present. Last night I realized that I have not had an ****** when im on top so I decided to ride my vibrator. Oh my god! It was so good and when I came it was intense and I barely realized that I need to keep quiet (I cant be loud I live with my parents). I did it again in the morning and the following night, next step no vibrator to see if it will have the same effect. Maybe I should get one of those ****** that have a suction cup so I can attach it to the wall or something lol

As for the guy I am going to continue my training with him, I am learning a lot :) Maybe with some off his help I will have my first intercourse ****** without toys.
angellllll angellllll
22-25, F
Jan 23, 2013