Must Keep Trying

I have suffered from acute shyness for as long as I can remember and it has held me back in many areas of my life - education, career, friendships, romantic relationships. Now I am in my late twenties and I do feel that life is passing me by and that I have missed out on so many experiences other people take for granted. I think that is must be difficult for people who are not shy to understand how shyness affects a persons actions and behaviour, and that many shy people are just seen as rude, aloof, odd etc. I have been called all of these things and each time it damages my self esteem a little more and exacerbates the problem. I feel that there are many more shy people than there appear to be in the world, but because we are all so shy we never meet! I have tried counselling, prescription drugs, hypnotherapy, CBT and psychotherapy (which I think was more damaging than it was helpful) and as yet to no avail. I sometimes feel as if I am trapped in my own prison and the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that one day I will get out, I think that if I lost that hope I would have nothing left to live for.
lonelygirl19 lonelygirl19
26-30, F
9 Responses Oct 21, 2007

Hi lonelygirl , All the remark's and advice is all great ! I was just like you too and My best advice is Go WITH IT~! shyness gets us no-wear ... have a great day!

I completely agree with you. I suffer from the same problem. It is terrible because you are constantly examining yourself. I feel constantly awkward. I think people will make fun of me or think I am weird no matter what I say so I just chose to stand alone. It is easier, but it definitely makes the thing worse.

OMG i totally agree with everything you said about the hope thing and that if it ever goes away life would be terrible i think everyday that this is the day some random Hott guy will come up to me and want to go hang out but then the day ends...

I feel where you are coming from Im in the same boat my shyness has defiently held me back my entire life and Im also in my late 20's. Im afraid of disappointment and is considered anti-social because I like to spend alot of time alone. I don't talk or feel comfortable around people I don't know. I have only 2 friends that I talk to and go out with. I do like to club and its amazes me how when I go out I can dance the night away with whoever but of course I have to have a few drinks in me to do so. People I know calls me mean because Im quick to snap and say whatever is on my mind at the time to whoever ****** me off and I get pissed off very easily. Im very shy and nervous when it comes down to what matters most like education, career, friendship, and relationship also. So you are not alone but I have learned that I have to sometimes put my fear and not wanting to be disappointed aside and just go for it.

Thank you Lena, that was very sweet of you. This is what I'm talking about lonelygirl. I have a great bunch of people. I have great trust in them as they do in me. Give it a try if you wish to ok?

There are alot of people who deal with cronic shyness. Its natural to be nervous or feel that if you say somthing to some one, it might come out wrong. What would help is, trying standing in front of a mirror, take a good look at yourself for a minute and imagine its some one new. say hello, think about how you want to be answered. Take a deep breath and relax, no one is going to bite your head off for saying hello ok? As for meds and hipno, I wouldn't go that way hon, because everyone has this natural abuility to communicate with one another. Its like making your first steps, its one foot at a time like words, one word at a time. Lonelygirl, why not message me and I will reply, I would be more than happy to help you break out of the shell, My friends here will attest to the fact that I am a gentlemen and I enjoy helping in any way I can ok?

well maybe just try to go out of your comfort zone. i really understand how it feels but i went out of my comfort zone little by little and now im very outgoing. i really hope things get better!!!

well maybe just try to go out of your comfort zone. i really understand how it feels but i went out of my comfort zone little by little and now im very outgoing. i really hope things get better!!!

I completely agree with you about being "trapped in my own prison." I'm in my early 20's and my battle with shyness brings mixed results. I can talk to people but I always need to "get ready" for meeting with them. I agree that therapy is not going to help me and I think we just have to accept ourselves completely to get over our shyness. I'm sure you will accept and love yourself more in time(at least as much as I do, myself) and we all have many reasons to live. I don't recommend using the words "should" and "must" or blaming yourself. Maybe spend more time with people who love you.