I Will Find Myself To Be Forgiven Some Day.

I loved someone that was extremely broken once. He was my kind. And it broke me further.

As a child, I’d always been drawn to the darkness. If it wasn’t crippling sad, than it wasn’t beautiful enough. I knew of my desires. I knew of my tendencies. I knew what feeds my passions kills my soul. I knew what I was and what God meant to me. I hope to be good for him. I hope to be good for me. I find the soul weakens in moments when lost is found. I find days are shortened, when life lived in lies.

I don’t know what I am grieving for. I don’t understand the pain the comes through my pause. There is something I can’t seem to see. How life is meaningless, but true. I find myself in the space of nothing. I find myself standing high within abstract chaos. I find myself afraid of what I have always loved. I pray to be forgiven for the mistakes that I did not make.

I want to forgive her. I want to forgive him. I want to forgive all of them. I want to forgive myself for loving them - and for not loving enough of my own self.



watchfulsoul watchfulsoul
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 12, 2010

Wow... Did I write that? lol