Brother Dearest

One day, I'm going to snap. Just like that, I'm going to explode, and expose the secret i so painfully have been keeping inside. Nobody knows. Only me. Me myself and I. My mother, the one who bore the culprit of my secret, is absolutely blind to what has been going on. How her son, crazy as he already is, could resort to something so disgusting, so shameful. That is the one thing I will never know. How thoughts of ****** could suddenly flow through his veins like a tsunami. How long have these thoughts tormented his mind? Was it when he held me in his arms as a baby? Or when we made our backyard a battleground and ran around shooting water balloons at eachother like crazed hyenas? Or was it when I began puberty, began to grow breasts, began to like boys more than I did before, began to have hips, and a butt; what was it that sparked this flame of desire? These questions keep me awake at night. I try to dig deep into the possibilities of why he is the way he is, but find no answers. I find myself feeling weak, wanting my father to hold me in his arms,tell me he loves me and apologize for bringing such a monster into this world. I want my father to tell me "I am kicking him out of the house for good, you're safe now baby".

Would you honestly be interested in reading the rest of the novel? Honestly.