There Are Always ConsequencesI was bullied as a kid for a year in high school, as I was always overweight. I had gone to alot of schools when young as my parents moved around alot, but only one school had a group of bullies led by a girl and coincidently, her last name was 'Bull'. It only happened for one year, probably not even a whole year, as back then the school system and the parents worked together to end it before it became an epidemic. Although it happened briefly in my life, the scars are still there many years later. I believe I suffered in silence until one morning I was walking to the bus stop and was pulled into the bushes by this black chick, who was the one I had stood up to, called her 'black *****'...well she pulled me into the bushes and gave me a black eye, leaving me running back home crying.
My mother dealt with it immediately and the system was awesome, resolved it before it took over our lives., involving the other student, the other parent, and also all of the other students and their parents who involved themselves in the bullying....that was back in 1982.
...Flash forward to the years 2000 to present....my children have been bullied since elementary school, since the early elementary shcool days. We lived in a village where they were not accepted because we were not second or third generation., so these children, mostly girls, but there was a point where there was a group of them, with a boy as the leader...have been bullying my girls on and off for twelve years now. We now live in the next community, which is still part of the other community, as the other children now bus into high school.
I have been in constant communication with the principles, the counsellors and the parents (some understanding and helpful, most not). This is a major problem which has had a negative impact on the lives of myself and my children. Thank God we are strong people, as there are others who are not. It got so bad one year that while I was working my girls were in their bedroom with their friend and rocks were thrown through their bedroom window, breaking the window and scaring them immensely. Their friend called her dad and he had to come and bring them to his house (they were at that point, old enough to be left on their own).
The RCMP were constantly being called to my residence and there was nothing they could do about it, even though we knew exactly who the kids were. I was told that they needed 'evidence', meaning I had to buy a video camera (which of course I could not afford) and catch them in the act. They ended up slashing my brand new winter tires and I could not go to work, as there was alot of snow on the ground at the time, the busses did not run to where I worked and I could not afford new tires...so I quit my job and left the town I loved so much, the island I loved so much, to persue a dream of another life in another town.
That ended up turning into a different kind of nightmare, so I ended up returning a year later, thinking naaively that the kids had matured and the bullying would stop...of course not, they did not forget, even today, (almost four years later after returning), we are still dealing with it.
Right from the beginning I told my girls to stand up to them, to earn their respect; to fight back in self defense. It did work to a certain point, but this week I have to deal with the consequences of it. A few months ago my youngest daughter was walking to school and a bully who had been bullying her came across her path, had been challenging her for a fight. We were homeless at the time, and had scabies so it was a stressful time. She saw the girl and asked if she still wanted to fight...well the fight was on and it just so happened that a cop drove by while it was happening. My daughter was the more aggressive one, as she had had enough through the years; so of course she was the one who was charged with assault and uttering threats. I am in the process of dealing with this now through the local Community Justice Centre. The resolution meeting with the other student and her parents is on Thursday.
In light of what recently happened with the Amanda Todd case, as well as the other high profile case here on the island, the Rena Virk case, this is a serious matter which demands the attention of all members in the community. Frustrations run high when there is emotional insults, which turns into physical assault. In my daughter's case, she had simply snapped, after holding all the anger inside her for twelve years, one bully after another, one insult after another. The internet has become a tool for bullys, hiding behind it. This is how the latest incedent occurred, as well as countless other incidences from our past. Ask any high school principal or counsellor and they will admit that teenage girls are the worst bullies. I just thank God that my girls have had me in their life, to give them support and intervene when the shool system had failed them in regards to the bullying. Some students do not have the support of their family and friends.
I pray that this meeting is resolved with the bully and her family realizing the implications of her bullying towards my daughter.
On another note, the bully who bullied me all those years ago actually apologised to me last year on facebook, as she is now the parent on the other end of it, as I am., it is called karma...but I certainly did not deserve the karma I got...