Smoking

I have always wondered since I was younger why my older sister would smoke. I remember telling her she should stop and that it was disgusting. Yet, I find myself now smoking.

I had my first puff at age 10. The reason I did it was because I wanted to try it and I thought it was cool since I would see my mom's husband and his son smoke, too. Of course, other than my sister. At age 12, I occasionally bought some ciggarrettes. Yes, I would buy them from the truck where they sell all this goods and I would tell them that it was for my mom's husband.

I had tried a few ciggarrettes as the years passed but when I seriously got addicted, was when I was 18. I was in Job Corps and I just did it, mainly by indirect & direct pressure. It has been part of my life ever since. I am now 20 years young and 4 months. I have found that cigarrettes had made such an effect on my life and the ones who surround me. I have a soon-to-be 10 month old baby girl. (No, I did not smoke when i was pregnant. Well, for a couple of weeks but then I stopped--i regret that so much) I think if I would like her to smoke and it enfuriates me that I still put that cigarrette in my mouth. I feel like a bad mother and a bad example.

I already experienced my 15 year old nephew smoke and it upsets me pretty bad. But there is nothing I can do or anyone else!

I think smoking has affected not only how I smell, how I look but how bad it really is and the example that it gives our society. I really want to smoke but it is really hard. Maybe as hard or harder to lose weight when you just love junk food. I know I will stop soon. I just have to. I cannot live like this. I need to surround myself with people who are willing to help me and understand.

 

One question..Is there a such thing as a group for people who wants to stop smoking?? If not, there should be. I would totally attend!!!

natycuevas natycuevas
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 7, 2010

Thank you. You are so right. I know I want to, but I don't know if I can. I know you have quit and I know so many other people but i've tried and I AM ADDICTED!

You will only quit smoking when you really want to. Not a moment before. <br />
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I smoked for about 15 years. Then, one day, I decided it was time for me to quit. I committed to that goal and learned it was the most difficult thing I ever did.<br />
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I did not fail to win my goal. I made myself suffer the process of quitting "Cold Turkey". It took me nearly 5 years before I lost my urge to smoke. I never regressed.<br />
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If you do quit, you will know how hard it is to quit. Believe me, it's agony to quit. Once you realize how hard it to quit, you will never start again.<br />
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Remember this...... You will never quit smoking, until you want to quit. You must also, turn yourself against smoking. you must find every reason to quit, and never start again. Here's some of those reasons:<br />
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My Son said to me, "Dad, I love you. I don't want you to die from Lung Cancer. Will you quit smoking for my sake"?. That same morning, as I was going through the mail, with my Secretary standing behind me looking over my head, so she could read also, I said to her; "Patty, I'm thinking of quitting smoking". She said; "I thinks that's a great idea. I asked her; "Why do you say that"? She said; "because I can smell the nicotine in your hair and clothes.". I said to her; "Do you realize, I scrubbed my hair twice this morning"? She said; "Trust me". <br />
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My feelings were hurt by my Son before I went to work. My feeling were hurt again by my Secretary, after starting work. Through this process, I had to apologize to her a few times for being a bit cranky. She and my family knew what I was going through. The first 6 months were very hard for me. Then, it become easier as time went by. In about five years, I was able to trust myself, to never smoke again. That was 37 years ago.<br />
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My Wife was unable to stop smoking. She went to support groups and spent thousand of dollars to try all methods to stop smoking and she was unable to stop. Because she didn't want to, and couldn't stop because she was not prepared to deal with the overwhelming commitment it takes to do so.<br />
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Commitment is the Key. Wanting to quit is the first step.<br />
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I have an advantage over most when it comes to making decisions ..... I make decisions, like pulling the trigger on a gun. There's no going back, once I act. I have always burned my bridges, mentally. Smoking was the largest bridge I have ever burned. It was my greatest Battle too.<br />
This is when I learned that Tobacco Companies put Drugs and Chemicals in Cigarettes to cause Addiction. Smoking is a sad act to endure. Selling Cigarettes should be a Felony, due to the Chemicals and Drugs in them.<br />
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I am praying you will succeed in your effort to quit. I will also support you in this quest anytime you fear regression. I know the journey you are about to travel, and I feel for you, as it will not be easy.<br />
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My best to you, in your goal. Please make it.