I Thought I Was Safe
I had gone over to my older guy friend's house to tutor him in math. He's four years older than me, but he's been held back a few times and isn't very good at school. We worked on his math for something like five hours, and then he went outsie to smoke while I helped his mom make dinner. After dinner another one our friends came over and we watched some horror flicks and talked. He and I were sitting on the couch together holding hands, as we usually do when we're together. It wasn't strange or unusual for us, and it wasn't code for I want to hook up with you or anything. Around four am I fell asleep. The other girl left shortly after that. Then around five thiry I felt someone touching me, and I woke up. My friend had his hand in my pants and was rubbing my vagina. I could tell from how tense his body was that he was trying not to wake me up. I asked him what he was doing, and all he said was "What do you think?". I told him to stop, and he did. I went to the bathroom to make sure I was okay, not bleeding or anything. After a few minutes I went back out and fell asleep again. I woke up and he was lying next to me and had put a blanket over me. He told me he was sorry and that it would never happen again. That was Sunday. On Monday, I had a band concert that he was suppsed to go to. After school, I got his mom to drive me to his place. She dropped me off, and I confronted him about what he did. He started crying and telling me he was so lonely, so sad. I don't know if I should tell on him or not. I hvae only spoken to one friend about what happened to me. He urged me to tell someone, if for no other reason than to protect ayone else that this could happen to. He got angry at me when I told him I didn't want to tell anyone about this. For some reason, I still feel a loyalty to the person who did this to me. He hurt me and I don't want to hurt him. I have no idea what to do or where to go from here.