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I Want to Recover From Being Molested

I Shouldnt Remember This...

By: softball1995
Written on February 6th, 2012
When I was 3 years old I was molested by a 14 year old boy. He was my baby sitters son. Every time it was time to change my diper he did nasty things to me. It went on for quite awhile before i finally told my mom what was going on. He ended up going to juvy. I'm 16 now and The thing that bothers me the most is that i remember EVERYTHING. Not just bits and pieces, everything. Some times i feel like it was my fault, but i didnt know any better. What i want to know is it normal for me wanting to meet him? Like i just wanna know why? Or was it worth it? I hardly ever think about it cuz i'm the type of person that for gives and forgets, but i cant help and think about these things.
By: softball1995
Age: 16-17 , Female
397 people have read this story

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3 responses
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    kerrygold
    kerrygold

    My heart goes out to you and I don't know why. Talk to a counselor if you haven't already. Even if you have, do it some more. You cannot be at fault at age three. You were assaulted, that's all. You are still in recovery. If you could not remember it would that really be better? I do not think so, because then you would be injured and not know why.

    Dec 10, 2012
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    Bassbot1
    Bassbot1

    You are still young confused and in denial of what happen probably. I really think if you get your problem talked out and resolve sooner the better. I've lock it and forget it for many years and now I reallized that I live with my problem all this time and never got to grow up properly. One day few years ago when my ex wife just about tip me over my scale and loose my mind. I started seeing the therapist which open the door about my past to me which I'm now coming to a resolution to move on and I'm finding my identity and starting To live now to really be who I should be. I'm almost 40 and what happen to me was when I'm around 12.

    Aug 13, 2012
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    Hopefulandhealing
    Hopefulandhealing

    It's normal to want to meet him. Unfortunately you may not get anything out of this sick bastard. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Don't ever blame yourself, you were a child and could not give any consent at all.

    Feb 12, 2012
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