My Biggest Wish Is To Recover.

My biggest dream is to recover bulimia. 

I'm tired of the shame.
I'm tired of the fear.
I'm tired of my lies and bad excuses.
I'm tired of stealing the food from my siblings and parents.
I'm tired of going to bed late because of homework I haven't finished because of bulimia.
I'm tired of wasting my talent in school because of what bulimia does to me.
I'm tired of causing so much pain to myself.
I'm tired of skipping classes because of bulimia - I actually love going to school and learning.
I'm tired of feeling failure.
I'm tired of fake smiles and excitement.
I'm tired of the lack of sleep.
I'm tired of standing in my own puke in the shower.
I'm tired of stomach pain.
I'm tired of dark circles.
I'm tired of dry skin.
I'm tired of watching how my teethes are becoming ugly.

I want to recover.

I want to find others way coping with stress factors in my life as school, my dysfunctional family and my alcoholic mum.
I want to use my potential.
I want to love myself 100%.
I want to myself again meaning that I'm really honest and trustful.
I want to sleep 8-9hours every day because I need that to function. 
I want to stop causing pain to myself.
I want to have a future.
I want to sleep when other "normal" people are sleeping.
I simply want to recover because I don't wanna wast my capricious life on this illness.

rikkegade rikkegade
18-21, F
3 Responses May 15, 2012

This my dream, too. More than anything in the world. I'm older, 36, but I've been battling for 20 years. I can't take it anymore, my body can't take it anymore. I feel so lost, even though I have loving and supportive family and friends.

I feel you......I wish that too :(

thank you! actually i have recovered :) What about you? :)

And you can. You have your whole life ahead of you.