Thanx to the Big D

I spent most of my adult years riding a motorcycle and living the life of a biker. If I have to explain what the life of a biker means you wouldnt understand. anyway. That was up until my big divorce.  Bottom line what I didnt give her she got awarded by an ******* judge. My bad. anyway that was 9 years ago and I have been fighting tooth and nail to get back some of what I lost along the way. Seems like everytime I get on a path that will get me there some stupid **** jumps up and stops it from happening. The one thing the judge did award me with was the bills. $23,000 worth.  Funny I'm the one that left her and I got reamed! I still dont get it but anyway. I was so busy the last few years getting my life back in order so was no money there for a motorcycle. Classical story after the big D I got to living life a little wilder and ended up losing a ten year job along with being really stupid and getting a dui. All that was in the first 2 years! Yeah I know I'm a moron!  Depression is really an odd animal for sure. After losing my job and having a judge ***** my bank accounts for a judgment on the past bills from my marriage I withdrew into myself and became suicidal. Luckily I had a wonderful friend who pulled me back from the depths of hell and got me put in the hospital for a couple weeks to get my perspective on life back. It was working fine and I was doing great and all of a sudden at age 45 my body decided to rebel. 1st my thyroid got stupid on me and I put on 170lbsin less than 6 months! Well that had a tendency to make other bodily functions like liver kidneys heart ya know all the good ones start getting stupid too! Oh did I forget the lungs! Couldnt freakin breath and that sucks! So needless to say my dreams of getting back on a bike were suddenly on major hold. Not only could I not afford it but I was too damn sick. Keep in mind I'm trying to deal with major depression and this **** wasnt helping. Well after 3 years of lots of meds and lots of doctor and hospital visits I have finally gotten to a point I can ride again but wont see any money for that. Doo Da! Such is life. I'll save my pennies and I will ride again! Not having a bike is like having no legs to somebody that was as involved with it as I was. I am dealing with it better but everytime I hear a scoot go by I get that little twinge in my gut. Those of you that understand know exactly what I'm talking about. Right now I gotta spend my time worrying about how to shed these pounds. all 170 of them!

magicwolf magicwolf
51-55, M
Mar 18, 2009