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Sometimes...

Sometimes I just want to run away... Just run away from everything and everyone. My mom expects me to be superwoman or something, and she thinks I can do like 10 things at a time... It is hard to keep my grades up when in Social studies my teacher gives us a ton of work to do everyday and expects us to have it finished by the end of class... we can barely even get half of our assignment done in class... I am expected to be strong, and to stay strong... But I can't... I think my Best friend is annoyed with me... and I don't know what to do, when I try to talk to her she ignores me, but then when I don't talk to her that much she's nice... and If I say something to her she gets all mad... My mom says that I have the Family's blood in me and I can stay strong and find a different way to deal with my emotions, then cutting.... I'm TRYING! but YOU'R not helping mom!!! I NEED something for my anxiety, but no you think my anxiety's not that bad and that I can control it... and that I'm just not trying... you won't even take me to the doctor to see what she thinks... My life is soo stress full, and overwhelming mom... but you don't get that... and you told me to talk to you when I'm feeling stressed out, but how can I, when I try too ur too stressed out to be able to talk to me... I've been through hell... and I'll take whatever life throws at me, but it's getting harder and harder... I can only stay strong and positive for soo long, and then I can't any longer... I have to fall and let myself crumble and lose the pieces to myself again... and I talk to my School Counselor because she cares and she understands, even though I think she probably thinks I'm annoying... I talk to her but mom, I don't get why you think that she holds people back, and lets them get away with too much, because she lets them cry. and she talks to them, and she helps them feel better, and if someone is having a problem with a friend then she calls the friend in there so that the 2 friends can talk it out... I think your just jealous of her mom... that's what I think. Your jealous of her just like (we'll call her P) just like P is jealous of her... maby you need to act more like her... Sometimes I just want to run away into the cold winter air and run till I get to the forest <3 I want to live in a forest... and I'll build a swing, a huge one, I can just swing all day, feel the cold winter air in my face, feel free, feel like i'm flying, feel happy, and feel relaxed, and calm... I don't even have to run away to the forest, maby just the park, and swing for a while, then go for a nice long walk and come back home, or shall I say the chaos I call home... Might add that mom you never listen to me, or what I have to say... Never it's like I woke up one morning and now you don't get me... is it really that hard just to listen to me? listen to what I have to say?
staystrongandbrave staystrongandbrave 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2012

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I know its hard, but you do have to keep trying. Your mom probably doesn't want to take you to a doctor because she is afraid you'll be labeled which can affect your record forever. And doctors can talk about their patients, whether its legal or not.

My mom doesn't care whether or not I do my homework or not. She beats me up if and if I told her some like I cut myself, she'd rub it in my face like I'm an insane person and try to make me cry.

I understand pain, and from one person to another, all I can say is stay alive and do well in school so you can escape.

If you want to talk message me &lt;3 and ur probably right, her other excuse is that I'm going to have to learn to deal with my anxiety and the longer I put it off the harder it will be... and she said getting something for it would probably be expensive...