Unwanted Dreams

My life sucks , I really hate it . What can I say I'm a rebellious punk rock kid . My parents being pastors really wrecked my life . I cannot do anything, they use religion against my beliefs.
I wanna run away to a place where I cannot be stepped on, judged, or someone who doesn't crush my dreams. I grew up hating my parents. I know for a fact they don't like me.
My parents where NEVER there for me, they critize me and believe everything I do is wrong. Ya'know what hurts the most? They don't realize when depression is hugging me, when I hurt. I am fed up with them.
My family- sucks too. They're all hyprokits, nosy, un-trusting adults that talk **** about you behind your back. I want out I wanna leave from this Unwanted Dream.
I want to escape for awhile and be free. But I know that will Never happen . That's why I plan to leave to New York, far away as possible from them. Is this too much to ask for ? I've suffered all my life !
I honestly think I won't make it this year, I've suffered with depression as a baby, selfharm & eating disorders growing up. I'm done. I want something better for me. I was NEVER perfect enough for my parents. I had to be the best of the best. A rolemodel for all the kids at church, I was only 5 years old when I was set for this expectation
I need a break
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11 Responses Jan 23, 2013

I do too. I'm 14 and we should runaway together

Don't run away, Most people out in the real world are looking for people like you to use and pimp.

Fine ok, you dont like them and and they dont like you. Learn to deal with it, That's life. Use them, go to school and keep pursuing ur dreams. I was a mean person once and forreals you dont want to run across people that were once like i was.

You need more than a break. You deserve love, support, understanding, and acceptance. You are who you are. That is being human. It does not make you bad or good - just human. You will feel and do and try many things. That is also part of being human. When someone tries to bend a person to fit a mold they do not belong in, that bending breaks the person. It takes more than a break to heal. Wounds need the balm of love to start the healing. They need support to hold things together while the healing is progressing. You are you and that is marvelous. There is no one like you. There is no who can replace you. There is no one who can live your life better than you can. Alas, "Christians" who should show the love of Christ and give acceptance to those in need and love to the injured, instead have a history of shooting their wounded and driving them out. I wish there were something I could do to help. I am just an ole man. And these are just words. However my heart hurts for you after reading your stories and I do give a damn.

hey. ik how u feel like i cant stand my parents.my moms ok, but i hate my dad. message me so we can talk??

see you are still young and if you run away what will you do if you have savings is that will last for a lifetime?no of course it will just make maybe 2-6 months maximum but what if you dont have you will never last out there for 1 month and what is the easiest way to earn money?im sure you know and if not hanging with some dudes out there then you end up becoming a PROSTITUTE please dont be angry with that word because its true,those women who are vulnerable to be ***** are those women who are sheltered from their life as a kid like you are,you never know how hardship means outside your home,maybe you always think that your parents or relatives treat you so bad when they only wanted you to have a good life ahead in right direction and not to walk on those path that is really bumpy,thorny and very narrow path and when you run away you will never come back because you fear that you will be scorn,judged,treat badly or beaten as the worse part but the reality you cannot go back because you feel ashame that you dont listen to yur parents.
Parents sometimes sucks and yes pain in the *** sometimes but parents knows what is the reality,thats why it keeps reminding the kids to do their way and not to dis obey them and that makes it very dictatorial for kids to understand,well i wish somehow parents can talk it openlly with out suggesting bad things or saying whoring around instead to give clear view what is there to be and what will happen to you if you run away and no diploma or certificate that would helps you employed somehow.
I myself before think the same way running away and what then after running what i will do there when im only studying and doing good grades to make my parents feel good to me though im naughty in every way so i do what they want and in the end of every semester i dont hear anything bad because somehow i did something that they think i need to follow and for that they become happy and give me time to breathed and i think thats the best way you do so you can live when you graduated and have your own diploma and not end up whoring around and selling yourself.
Im your friend and i care and though this may not give you the answer that you want at least you know and think what the best way and you have your choices what path you will take or listen.

I feel for you, I grew up in the Church and understand how things works, your parents honestly think they are doing the best for you and you feel like you are always on show and people are always looking at you. Please hang on in there, nothing last forever, you need a break but I doubt running away will help. You need to find a way to take a break from the whole Church thing like going to stay with non religious relatives for a while and see how that works.

you feel hurt but they feel you are rebellious...Sometimes the pain is so deep that it won't go away.you just wish someone would hold you and rock you to sleep...All our pain seemed nothing to them.... I watch anime like spirited away, clannad, kimi ni tokode just to forget...and I ask God where are you? Are you real? I don't like to cut myself..It is painful...I can see the blood flow and the cut heals slowly.I just wish to have a friend to understand the pain inside...hope somebody ***** it and burst it like a pimple...

I enlisted in the army to escape my family, that was back in 1970. My father was an abusive alcoholic and I hated him more than you could ever hate yours. I left home at 18 and never came back

to a small amount I know how you feel. I ask my mom if I could dye my hair and she started yelling at saying all she wants is a normal child (my 2 brothers are "emo" and "goth" and there girlsfriends, she will never get me

Yeah but I mean I'm only 13 and kinda have to live them for a while longer so I just get over and I write on wattpad.com I get unwanted emotion out in my stories, it's a supporting site, people are nice on there too if you want to check it out.

please email me at runawayplz55 @yahoo.com

I will run away with please repsond back i live in missouri but i am willing to meet up someplace