Here I Am Again.

I hate my life.  I think the main reason is money troubles.  I work so hard and yet I do not have enough to pay my bills. I need a vacation but I have no money to take it.  My kids drive me crazy screaming and yelling and slamming doors and fighting with one another.  My "partner" is never here because he works 12 hour days but still does not make enough money to really help with our financial load, not to mention other responsibilities.  I just really want a break and not feel guilty for taking it.  I am thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars in debt and I see no light.  We live in too small a house, and while I know there are people in worse conditions, mines still does not make me happy. Today I have no money to buy some food I need for my kids.  We will make due, but I am a business owner who works very very hard and still I have nothing. I hate what I do.  It intrudes on my personal life and because I hate what I do resent things more because there is no return for the sacrifice.  I want to run away and leave it all behind.  My stupid clients, my debt, and even my kids.  But I would feel guilty and I would miss them. I feel so out of control and so at a loss as to what to do.

Simplethings Simplethings
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 10, 2010

Hi simplethings, <br />
<br />
It's so bad for you. I know how you feel, because "ve been in the same situation. But don't give up hope. <br />
and also don't give up your family! I understand that is frustrated that your man isn't helping the situation and your children neither. Have a good talk with your man & your children. About what's the best for everyone. Maybe your children can help? Maybe they can work to help each other. And you defenitly need some rest, take a day off. Because you NEED it! Than you can think clearly again. (Not saying that you don't but I know how U R feelin') <br />
Walking away from your sorrows makes it harder. Try to find solutions, maybe a different house, which will be cheaper?