I am currently writing this to thank a close friend, someone who I’m not sure knows this, but is an amazing person.

And to the rest of you reading this i hope to inspire or spark a hope that not everything is lost....

It’s funny… Looking back at my experiences that I first wrote when I found this site, I wonder what I was looking for… Back then I’m not even sure if I knew what I was looking for. I think I was just looking for some sort of salvation… some salvation that would push me on.
What I felt, and to some extent even now (though a whole lot better) was darkness…. Darkness surrounded me at every turn, and every where I looked, even though ppl were smiling and laughing, all I saw were enemies. “People weren’t what they seemed,” I told myself. Either that or I told myself things like, “that person is just another one of those fake idiots”.

However, as I wrote my experiences, and over the course of idk how long, I met someone… And surprisingly enough, even though we were strangers, thousands of miles apart, I thought that this person was so similar…. This person knows what I’m going through… even though we never met before…
Reading through her experiences I found that-
Both of us were depressed, pushed to our limits, and literally contemplated everyday about killing ourselves… to escape this world.

Yet, for some reason as I read her stories I cried… I cried, and to this day idk why exactly I cried… whether it was b/c I knew the pain, b/c I frustrated at the world, or b/c I didn’t want someone else to go through the same thing…. Maybe the reason was a combination of all three of these reasons, maybe even more…
All ik was at that time i was frustrated at life and wanted to die too...
However
I wrote… I wrote to her the things that kept me alive… the hope I had left… the idea that there is a future… The one hope I had…

That even with that 0.01% chance of hope that we had to fight… that no matter how stupid this world was that death wouldnt solve anything. The choice we had to make was to fight and to stay strong in this harsh world.

And surprisingly we became great friends. I still consider her as one of my closest friend actually, and one of the two people I’ve ever opened up to, and maybe even the only person I’ve opened up to more than anyone else...

Even though at the surface to other ppl it may seem as a story of me saving someone else, I would say that it rather a story of us saving each other…

In my own view, in my own perspective, I am sincerely thankful that I ever met her. After that, I continued to live, after that I continued to fight, I continued to stay alive. But what I found surprising, in a good way, was that she also continued to fight, to stay alive.

Afterwards, as time passes and as we became better friends i was amazed at the shift of attitude and belief i had. How I thought that, maybe the meaning of life is to create that happiness, to create that meaning ourselves. That life isn’t just this set path, but that the meaning and the value of life are the bonds and the future that we create ourselves…

I finally had a friend that i could talk to about anything. I had a friend to share anything with- music, stories, happiness, sorrow, etc. i finally had a friend that i could fully trust.

The message i want to give to my friend is:
thx~ ^u^ ~ b/c you’ve also saved my life and gave me meaning to live~ B/c u gave me hope that i was looking for too.

Message to anyone else:
And to anyone else reading this, I have this to say. Stay strong, stay alive, and search for that person/people that give meaning to your life. It doesnt matter whether it is in real life or if it is someone thousands of miles away, bc it is possible to still find that person.
----
Random side note:
In this life, my own goal is to create the greatest future I possibly can, and while I’m still young, while I still have the chance, while i can still talk big, i dream of creating that perfect future. While everyone may laugh, may think im crazy, ill hope to show this world that i can craft that future.

P.S one more message to ppl reading this- if u are depressed, i thought maybe a small song to listen to that be cool would be this- i personally would listen to other songs too but thought this song had a good message to send.

http://youtu.be/OsrICJqWQ1E

^the song in case link breaks is 3 things by jason mraz :3~ hope u enjoy
InfiniteMusic InfiniteMusic
18-21, M
4 Responses Aug 18, 2014

You just made my day. :) I love this message.

I love this

What a powerful story and inspiring message. I teared up as I read this. Infinitemusic, you are very wise beyond your years. I so wish you much happiness and plentiful love in your life. You truly are amazing ! Hold onto that friendship and keep it close to your heart...for true friends like that don't come along all that often in life. I honestly believe that strong bonds can be formed without ever meeting in the rw. The connection is nurtured by sincere and honest gratitude and appreciating the value of the bond that ties you. May all your dreams come true. I will always remember reading this.

Trying to find that song but can't. Is it the one by Macklemore?

If u are talking about the song i linked it is called 3 things by jason mraz :).

And thx u so much >u< i really appreciate your kind words

I'm really glad we met. c,: