I Want To Cry But I Don't Really Want To Cry

Dear Fairy,

I don't mean to cry... I don't want to cry but I can't help crying.... it's rushing up and all i can do is cry and cry and cry for so many rounds, day after day.. year after year. It's so hard.

No one cares. Really. And I know that.

I just want to say this.

No friends, no one can be trusted.

I just want to cry but I don't really want to cry because of course I know it's no use.

But then why am I still crying?

Calling it depression is overly simplifying things and "can't do it justice".

I am a crying doll now and don't trigger me to a utterly big weep again.

I was blind and I am afraid if i keep crying i will be physically blind.

I hate crying. And it feels worse to hate yourself for crying. Who really understand?
ludai ludai
22-25
Nov 26, 2012