Nembutal Fairy

Dear Fairy,

I know there is no one in the world who loves me, or cares. I know.

Today I am busy doing research on how to get a hold of the potent sleeping pills just in case. I want to write this down in case. I am too tired.

It really doesn't matter sometimes. I know it's not today.

But I must do it once and get it over with. Please make sure I won't get up and get any other side effects.

I cannot choose to be born, but I can choose the other way round. It's my choice. And I firmly believe now that if it can be as painless as possible then I can have the gut. Because I am afraid of pain and have no gut to do it otherwise. I know if I can get those pills it would be easier because it can dissolve in alcohol and ...

it's my own choice and if anyone reading this please don't think too much.

I have to write out for now because it's not the time yet.

I have scheduled it and I have my time frame.

But fairy please make it quick and easy and painless.

Thanks is all i have left to say. I am okay.
ludai ludai
Jan 20, 2013