I Would Never Say This To HimI don't like how I look at my dad. I could sensor what I say here but I think if I really let it hang out and put all the anger down maybe I can see the ignorance.
I don't respect my dad. I don't like my dad. When I hang out with him I don't like the things he says or the way he acts. He is immature. He has no self control. He doesn't understand how to have a pleasant conversation. He insesantly complains. When I make subtle hints that something bothers me he doesn't receive them. One time he banged his foot on the coffee table loud in an authoratative or aggressive manor. It annoyed me and I gave him a displeasing look. He then banged his foot on the table over and over again about fifteen times. When I verbally tell him that something bothers me he does not put any effort into changing the behavior.
About a year ago when he moved in with me the first day he was due to arrive I walk in the house go upstairs and there he is in the bathroom with the door open naked. I had a talk with him a couple of days later. I told him hey why don't you keep the door close when you undress. I have since over the past year seen him naked several times and scene him in nothing but tight underwear countless times. WTF!
Over the year I have put in some effort to connect with him. I ask him questions or bring up topics but he doesn't take an interest. I would invite him to lunch or dinner about once a week but he would rarely agree to go. If he asks for a favor (help me with my computer, show me this or that about my phone, fix the TV) and I don't want to do it at the time he is asking me he screams and yells and throws a fit.
I have tried yelling back louder and more aggressively (out of character for me) that didn't work. I tried to set boundaries with his temper like he's a three year old. "If you yell at me I won't do what you ask at all."
I'm moving into an apartment in a couple of weeks and he is moving out to live on his own. I have seen a marked improvement in his behavior and he even sends me signals he wants me to join him in the living room to watch TV. I gave it a shot last week and that's when the table banging incident happened.
I realize the liklihood that our problems our completely his fault is very small. At the same time I feel I have put in effort and tried my best. If I was a different person perhaps I could reach some kind of harmony with him but I'm only human and he should put up with some of my sh*t if he expects me to put up with his.
Ahhhh this is not exactly where I had planed this to go but I do feel better.
xandermann 26-30 2 Jul 23, 2011