Dear.... "Dad"..
You aren't able to read this.. But I'm not able to use that term and mean it. Guess we are even...

Up until the age of 5, I didn't know that everyone got a mommy and daddy and that's because you decided you didn't want me in your life.. at least not until my 5th birthday.
On my 5th birthday you actually stepped up to the plate to come see me. Do you remember what happened after that?
.... you disappeared again.
When I was 7, I taught myself how to ride bike because I thought that if I called and told you, that you'd be proud enough to actually talk to me again.
When I turned 11, you forgot about my birthday and called a month later. When I asked you why, you said you had more important things to worry about. I cried for a whole week after.
In the 7th grade, I tried out for an AAU basketball team and made the team. Tried to message you on Facebook. You ignored my messages, continued to make posts, and 3 days later, it was deactivated.
My 8th grade graduation, I won an award for outstanding character but couldn't tell you because I had lost all contact with you.
Last year, near the end of the freshman year, you called and told me that you wanted to step up and start communicating with me again. I was probably the happiest person alive.
Last month... I sat by the phone the whole day to get a happy birthday call... I got nothing.
August 21, 2014... still don't know why you don't want me in your life. Student Athlete. Ahead of my grade level in academics. Bright future ahead of me. and I can't even have a dad to be proud of me. I honestly don't know why your opinion is still important to me anymore....

So the reason I'm writing you this letter,
is to tell you that I'm done grieving
Your loss that you weren't in my life,
Sincerely Yours, The Daughter You Keep Leaving
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6 Responses Aug 21, 2014

Ur gorgeous motivated smart sexy < peep how I said gorgeous and sexy to dilute ur self image issue I read in and earlier post of urs any way **** ur dad my dad was some **** too and he smoked crack I do believe but regardless I still became successful and you will to don't reach out to that bastard just be the best YOU that u can be an let him feel ******

Oh babe, I'm so very sorry for your pain. Every girl wants her daddy in her life. That won't ever change, no matter how hard you make yourself. You'll still long for his approval, attendance, and love. It does NOT get easier as you get older. In truth, it may get harder as you realize how things work. You will probably not ever understand where he is coming from and that's because for some reason his DNA made you that much better than him.

I have a good relationship with my dad, always have. But there have been times when life took us in different directions so I do understand your feelings. I have no mom. She was not ever happy with anything I did, it wasn't good enough, her way, or the right time.. And eventually I went through years of counseling to make myself ok with what I have and not what I thought I needed. After all, God knows what we need when we don't.

I just want to give you a great big hug and tell you its going to be ok. Because, even when it hurts.. It will be ok. Just think, for a moment, if he was in your life. Would you of worked so hard at school? What about sports? If you were busy with your dad on the weekends you would of had to sacrafice that time.

So, as odd as this sounds, be kind to yourself. Don't look at you and what you've done to make him stay away,... Look at the great things that have come out of waiting for the right time to have the relationship. Know this as a fact, his disappearance has nothing to do with you, what you have or have not done. It is his own ****. Maybe he had an absent father, or maybe he had a horrible father and thought the best thing he could do was stay away or he'd ruin you. Maybe he is scared that if he comes into your life his toxic issues will influence you in ways he loves you to much to say. And when your in a spot in your life where you can take a break, after college, at the start of your career, maybe you can take a week vacation with him and catch up. Keep a journal of the things you want to share with him.

Send him birthday cards, copies of awards, pictures of important moments you want him to share with his friends. And know that when the time is right it will all come together. If there were to be a tragedy where you wouldn't be able to have time to spend with him in the future; you do want to always live with no regrets. So, here's the best advice I can give you... It may take time to understand it to a point where you can put it to work in your life, it will change how you communicate and interact with people...
*you have no control over other people's actions, you can only control your reaction to them and the situation**

So, keep your reactions and actions something you can be proud of, don't speak out of anger with words you can't take back and something you'll be embarassed over... With a clean conversation on your part you'll be ok no matter his response.

Adults aren't perfect, don't have all the answers, and many of them are closed to the idea that their teenager could know or understand something they don't. I am not one of those Mom's, but knowing they exist, I caution you from being to grown up or too right with your dad. Let him be the one who knows best when you are together, just smile and knod baby, smile and knod... Write it down when you get home and share it when you get older. Often that small act saves you heart ache that's unnecessary.

You keep on the good path so you can someday show him all your accomplishments despite who he is. You are going to make a difference for others in your situation if you keep on with your wonderful drive and ambition.

Since he can't say it, let me.. Good job girl. You are making all the right decisions, being the bigger person and karma really does always come around.. And you will reap the rewards one day. Perhaps these are the words your dad wants to say, and just isn't a big enough person to. Love him anyways, you can't change him, but you can learn from his mistakes.

K. Long enough. I just hurt for you. Feel my love, and let that carry you far. XOXO~strangers.

Some day, he'll change his mind. Maybe not soon. But you'll break his heart. He'll find out how you feel eventually. And he will regret everything.

Some of the best people are those who overcome the sadness

I will not lie to I have no idea how that feels. But if he is not willing to talk to you he is not worth it.

I say this because I gave up on my dad also


My advice to you . Dont give up and keep contact your father as much as u can . Because i dont want you one day to regret about what did you do . Let him the one who will feel regret one day .

I understand your situation but what i want to tell u . Is do ur best and and take any oppotunity to contact him . Like that u will never feel regret . He is the one who will feel that

Something very similar happened to me, now Im 32, I think I am a successful person because I've achieved my own goals...I am still wondering why he continuously walk out of my life but those thoughts don't hurt no more because I finally understood that I am not responsible for his decisions, but I am thankful because, in some weird way, he was my motor to be what I am today.
Be patience and be happy