I Am Not You, Or Who You Want Me To Be!

I am not a straight-A student. I am not self-motivated. I am not pretty, I am not proper and prim. I go to bed late, and sleep in all day. I have flaws. In fact, I have more flaws than not. I am far from perfect. I'm a synesthete, and NO, I won't shut up about what colour that song is, or how ugly that note looks! I'm social, but, YES, I will stay in my room all weekend long, if that's what I want to do. You are here to guide me, not control me. You should influence my decisions, not make them for me. I do not expect you to approve of all my life choices, but you cannot change what I do and do not do. I care about you, and respect you, but I will continue to move through life at my fearless, headstrong pace, regardless of what you "think is best". I love you unconditionally, but most of the time, I don't feel like that affection is being returned. Sure, you say that you just want me to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilled life, yet you bully me, put me down, and abuse me to such an extent that a future like the one you want for me seems nearly impossible. How is it that you can beat me, and hurl insulting words at me, and then shake it off, and smile like you are trying to win a parent of the year award? How is it that you see me in pain, and act as if I deserve this pain, this burden? How is it that you make my life a living hell, and then claim that you want the best for me, and that you love me? I do not like hypocrites or liars, and my whole life, you have proved to be nothing but both of those things. I am all for giving people second, even third chances, but first, you have to want to change. I am never going to be you perfect little doll, but I can put in the effort to act the part. On one condition : you try your hardest to care for me, love me, and be the best parents you possibly can. Please remember who I am. Quirky, forgetful, clumsy, kind, compassionate, lazy, forgiving, curious, imperfect me. I hope you find the perfect in me, and I hope that you will learn to love and appreciate me, as much as I love and appreciate you. (Sorry that this is kinda a long rant/letter.....congrats if you're still reading...and thanks! c;)
whispersofthepast whispersofthepast
18-21, F
Jan 12, 2013