The First One

There is so much that I think we left unsaid, so much that I wish I had said to you. I was always so afraid of being clingy that I never asked you anything. I prattled on about me and my childhood and I never even knew what your average day was like. When did you wake up? Where were your classes? Did you do that swimming challenge? When did you use formal attire, every day I assumed?

When did your parents divorce? What was your childhood like and where did you live? Did you play sports in high school? You must have. I always assumed it was football. I love you for your stereotypical masculine obsession with football. I still wish I'd been there when you split your lip - I would have made sure to be gentle.

And then... what happened between us? I apologize for being so reticent in the beginning. Being as handsome and charismatic as you were, I assumed that you had plenty of ladies under your belt and were just looking for one more. Why would you be interested in timid ol' me anyway? I didn't want you to know I was so lame that you were my first kiss, even though you were absolutely amazing and I am so glad I waited for you. And I didn't want to get too attached too fast, but I had no idea I was getting attached unwillingly anyway.

Why were you always so distant? Were you as nervous as I was, or are you that closed off? At what point did you decide that we weren't worth fighting for? Could I have done anything to change your mind? I feel like I could have done so much.

I won't stop fighting for you.
LovesLaborsLost LovesLaborsLost
18-21, F
Sep 25, 2012