I Felt Inadequate

Last night Australian time, an EP member in the States indicated that he was going to kill himself on more than one occasion.

I posted a comment and asked him to message me which he did. He had made his mind up. We exchanged a few messages and he didn't reply to my last.

I waited online for a while but he made no further entries.

It was midnight here so I went to bed.

Now I am plagued by questions like "what else could I have done?"


felicita felicita
66-70, F
13 Responses Mar 9, 2009

you can not save everyone ... at least they had someone to talk to ..

Thanks folly.

felicita, you are such a good person, if there were more like you in the world, less people would feel as desperate and lonely. It's so good to know you're there.

Well said LunaPanda

Thanks LP

I have been reading some of your past things, since I haven't been here much lately. Sorry, my bad. <br />
<br />
Having attempted suicide myself in the past, I know that a person usually only does this when they feel they have absolutely NO hope of things getting better or changing. When one is at that point, what else can one do? If youare considering it, but don't do it for whatever reason, you must still have some hope. So maybe, he still has some hope and is looking into other options. He may not want to interact with you b/c you have seen him at his worst (he thinks)and he doesn't want to contend with anymore.<br />
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The only way anyone can stop a suicide is to physically interfere -- as in committing them to a hospital. Even there, if they are dead set, they will find a way. So, you are not responsible for someone who threatens or even attempts it. There are phsical limits to your responsibility, no matter how great your concern. Surround him in the Light in your mind, and let him go. He has chosen to continue on his path for now w/o you. You are absolved.

Dorobo thanks for your kind comments.<br />
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He has disappeared again and his username has been deleted from my inbox. Unfortunately, I can't remember it.<br />
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I am glad that you were able to become positive again after your experience.

Some good news!<br />
<br />
The person concerned has been back on EP. Didn't message me to tell me, but...<br />
<br />
What a relief!

(((Hugs))) Like the others said, there's only so much you can do once a person has made their mind up about it.

Thanks for your support Waiwera ... it's been on my mind all day

In a different country, there's little you can do but talk to the person. They always say that if someone says they are going to suicide, tell them the number of the suicide hotline so a professionally trained person can handle it - but if you don't know that number, you obviously can't give it.<br />
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If he did suicide, by now he will have realised his mistake! But Fleurina, you did all you could, and you cared... no use agonising. Its his responsibility.

Thanks<br />
I wish I could have done more:>(

[HUGS] Please do not beat yourself up over this... you did all you could.