Being the 'other' Woman

I should never have answered the question, because no matter how many times I say it, the 'other' woman is always seen as the bad person.

What about the story behind them being the 'other' woman? Why doesn't the man ever get any hassle, but a pat on the back? Why is it always the woman's fault?

I answered a question saying it doesn't make you less of a person, to which someone said yes it did, because I have a choice. How does that make sense? How does me having a choice and going for one that made me happy at the time make me less of a person? It might not be considered a good choice, the right choice for some, but for me it was the perfect choice.

I know my story is complicated compared to some, but not every 'other' woman is bad.

You people need to get off your moralistic high horse and see the situation for what it is. Everyone's is different, you cannot point a finger at a million mistresses and say it's all their fault.

deleted deleted
26-30
15 Responses Feb 9, 2009

I sure do relate to being the 'other woman' and being chastised for it. I told my story on some other forums and I felt that people would've thrown rotten eggs and tomatoes at me if they could've! I got severely scolded as a 'bad, bad, bad person'. I certainly pass no judgement on you. I don't know the situation. I think the man is actually more in the wrong than the 'other woman'. I'm almost scared to share my story here. Hugs.

yes it would definetely depend on the situation thanks moo!

Well i better get to bed or i will only get 9 hours before i have to wake up... Gonna be so tired tomorrow lol. would like 12-13 hours of sleep but i don't think that is going to happen. Wonder what way i will die tonight. Last nights dream caused me to have another tension head ache. which causes me to feel sick... same feeling as food poison. <br><br />
<br><br />
I can't complain though because all of my dreams are so weird and entertaining. I tell you i am beyond a normal person. maybe i am more then human like i always thought... <br><br />
<br><br />
Isnt it wild how i can go from serious to random...<br />
<br />
night fruitcake!

Maybe so just realize i am not being nice to you. I have decided to live this way long before i met you. So you don't owe me thanks gratitude or kindness. Really i am not being nice just following my creed.

There is no need to thank me. I live by my own set of rules and one of them is to never harm someone who hasn't harmed me.

I don't know your story. I have no idea what you did or was invovled in, but i do know one thing. It isn't my business. You never crossed me and till you do i will remain friendly. Besides you prove to be entertaining for a womenz...

The other woman has very little to do with the entire thing. She has no obligation to anyone and isn't betraying someone. The person who is doing the cheating is the only one that is betraying. Personally, I think there is a certain type of person that will leave and then start something new. There is also a certain type of person that will just try to get whatever they want when they want it. Each situation is unique, as is each person. We all make mistakes, do things we regret, and try to learn from them. That is what the connotation around "I'm only human" means.

Thanks! Things have worked out well so far. The ex is in the dark as to when we hooked up. he might suspect but doesn't really want to know. In this case ignorance is bliss, and no good can come from his knowing - just more hurt and hard feelings that aren't necessary.

Whenever there is any sort of infedelity there is something lacking in the relationship that causes the person to stray. Like SG said people aren't block that fit perfectly and over time our needs change as well as our personalities.<br />
<br />
Whenever possible the first relationship should end before the new one begins - but I believe this is so the new relationship has the best chance of sucess. That is ideal but not always possible. We can't judge someone elses situation, we aren't in it and not living it.<br />
<br />
My fiance still lived with her ex when we met. We met as friends and for over a year we were friends that steadily got closer; we realized wwe had similar interests and dreams and we just clicked. Emotionally she was done with her ex, but financially he supported her and their child. That's what kept her from leaving in the physical sense.<br />
<br />
An odd set of circumstances found us suddenly sparked together; passion and love ignited. We both tried to deny it for monthes and hardly talked, but as soon as we found ourselves together it was there again. She made some hard choices and moved out; basically living on her friends couch for months. It wasn't easier, I was the other guy and didn't want to be. She was trapped in a situation she didn't want to be. She left as soon as she could which I appreciated and needed.<br />
<br />
We will be married in May, things are great. Ideally we shouldn't have formed that connection, but the universe said otherwise. Sometimes you can't fight it. What you do from there, I believe, defines the situation.

And yet in some cases the "other" woman is someone they know. For some it probably is easier to blame a stranger, but sooner or later they will have to face facts, yes the other woman had a part to play, but so did the husband, he's the one who was really lying.

I don't know why the world see's the guy as blameless, but coming from personal experience, his (ex) wife, children and some personal friends will not be so forgiving of the bastard. It takes two to tango, it's not totally the other woman's fault, and honestly (again from personal experience) I blame the man more, he is the one who CHOSE to have it both ways, he should leave the first relationship before getting involved in the next.<br />
I don't know all of the details of your situation moo, but from what I've gathered the "wife" is a bit off her rocker. I still think he should have left before starting something new, but, like I said, I don't know all the details and circumstances involved. For the guy on the question who wants to judge, he should probably be in the situation before he claims to know it all.

men getting less, if any, of the blame is a classic double standard and it ticks me off.

I have totally NO idea why the guy is seen as blameless. Like I said when I answered that question, the relationship the man has with the woman clearly lacks something... something that another woman has. People are not all nice little blocks of wood that interconnect neatly together and always fit perfectly... we sometimes fall in and out of connections, of relationships, and we rearrange ourselves. No "fault" has to be attached to this at all! {{{Hug}}}

lml

Well if they knew the story they would not hound you, I dont think you did anything wrong!!<br />
<br />
Hey guys, look around >><br />
<br />
"EVERYTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR"