Office Romance 1: Freeze Dried Instant Love

She was sitting outside the director's office, waiting for her interview.

Her expression was dark and cloudy, with a sixty percent chance of light rain.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I was working my way down the corridor, popping into offices, generously and cynically handing out Ice Cream Mars Bars to my colleagues.

It had been a bad week and I needed all the goodwill candy could buy.

I said hello, with a carefully crafted ironic half-smile.

First impressions count, and I had to let her know I was one of the good guys.

My blinding originality was rewarded with a polite frown, exactly the kind of polite frown that girls reserve for passing idiots with boxes of Ice Cream Mars Bars under their arms.

I was hooked.

She was pretty, not beautiful exactly, but there was something in her manner that caught my attention.

Maybe the way she held herself with poise and confidence.

Maybe that look of raw, annoyed impatience.

Maybe the quiet, hidden, vulnerability that I sensed in her eyes, and in the creases at the edges of her mouth.

Maybe her legs.

Who knows why these things happen?

Anyway, with a reason known only to my soul, my subconscious, my heart, and possibly also a couple of other organs, happen it did.

Freeze dried and instant.

Just add tears.

She was hired a few weeks later.

Energetically, with terrifying charm, and dangerous levels of enthusiasm, my seduction dance began.

I used every technique in the book, and I invented many, many others, almost all of which were legal.

Please visit for information and pricing...


Did my strategy work?
Do I really drink instant coffee?
Did she finally accept one of my Ice Cream Mars Bars?

These questions may, or may not, be answered in the next mildly interesting episode of my increasingly confused love life...

Stay tuned, dear readers...


Episode 2 : Love Hack and the B47s

EP Link

waterlooSunset waterlooSunset
36-40, M
1 Response May 10, 2012

I love the layout of this story, almost like a Q & A. Very well written and very much appreciated! I hope that the charm of the bar coupled with a stubborn persistance yields you your desired results!<br />
Best of luck!!!

Thank you :) Unfortunately, it's past history, and unless there's an episode 4..., I think I'm just going to have to eat all those reamaining bars myself... ;)