My First Thoughts...

We arrived in Michigan in the winter I remember.  My Uncle, Adam, let us stay at his cottage on Houghton Lake.  Things were not good and that is when I really start having my memory become vivid.  The embryo cooker didn't put me back in kindergarten when we got there.  I recall having no car and different people taking her and me where we needed to go.  My grandma came up often.  There were a lot of men and a lot of drinking.  I basically had a room and a few toys and remember the place being really, really cold.   I was in my room drawing, I did a lot of that due to the lack of toys, and I heard my grandma ask what the embryo cooker was going to do for my sixth birthday one night.  They were drinking and she went off.  I remember trying to hold the tears in so I could hear everything but it was next to impossible.  She stated how I ruined her chance of a career in New York.  That my father had lied to her about his money and the only reason she had me and married him was because of that lie.  She further went into that if I had been not smart enough to remember, she would have left me at a bus stop on the way to Michigan.  I was called every noun and verb there was for the word fat in addition to many four letter words.  My grandma was trying to quiet her I remember but they both drank a lot each night.  I had heard much of this before just not all in one long sitting that I could remember that stuck with me as this time did.  It was the foundation for which my subconscious built the rest of my childhood and young adult life.   Summer came and the area came alive as all resort towns do.  My Uncle, Aunt, and the two boys came up after school got out so the cottage got crowded really quick.  With only two bedrooms, my aunt and uncle had one room, my mom and I the other, and the boys were out in a tent which they were not fond of.  I personally thought the idea of living in a tent was cool but I was six years old, they were 10 and 12.  My uncle was only up on weekends and the embryo cooker got a job in town at clothing store.  Suddenly life seemed real for my aunt was like a real mom.  She cooked, cleaned, combed my hair, colored with me, read, all the things no one ever did with me.  I really began to like the cottage and actually forgot about my father for a short time.  My aunt I think enjoyed me because the boys were at an age where they wanted to be boys and now she had someone who needed her again.   Looking back, I don't think all of this sat well with the embryo cooker.  It is also clear now that the whole atmosphere of the cottage was different for the late night guests and drinking was less frequent.  Sometimes I could hear a few words going back and forth between them but my aunt kept things under control.  On weekends when my uncle came up with my grandma, things would get a little more wild.  However in retrospect I can see that the pot was about to boil over with the attention my aunt was giving me and how it angered the embryo cooker.   It all came to a head one night when we went out for the usual ice cream.  As in any tourist town the place was packed.  My cousins and I got to the front of the line and just when my aunt asked what I wanted, the embryo cooker spoke up and loudly said I was too fat and could not have any.  Like any six year old kid I started to cry and beg her to let me have ice cream while my aunt tried to quiet me when suddenly the embryo cooker began hitting me across the face.  All I remember is people staring and all of us leaving with no ice cream.  I know I cried all the way home and at home.  The next day, I cried even more as the embryo cooker and I moved out of the cottage and into a friends trailer on the outside of town.
LovelyLori LovelyLori
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 21, 2009