Making Friends Again

The old Me versus the now Me. We are two very different people in so many ways, but especially when it comes to confrontation. As I've mentioned before, a life-changing event in 2008 has left me struggling with trust issues. It also basically knocked the wind right out of me and I don't believe I've fully recovered. The old Me was full of confidence and moxey; ready to take on any challenge life had to offer. The now Me lives as a hermit in my bedroom closed off from the world on purpose. I avoid people and situations where confrontation might arise. Where I WANT to be is a balance of the two Me's, if that makes any sense. Since 2008, I have cut off all contact with friends and family as well. While I want to establish friendships again, I'm afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of how I will respond....or NOT respond. Afraid to share my life with people outside my immediate family. In this matter, I literally feel like a baby preparing to take its first steps. And then there's how and where to start making friends? I'm not the type to hang in bars. Perhaps I should just go where I know. What I mean by that is I have been physically ill for many years and spend most of my time around sick people in hospitals and doctors' offices. Maybe support groups?
twodayzgn twodayzgn
46-50, F
May 12, 2012