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Young And Foolish

Despite all that's happened, I don't hate you. I pity you moreso every day. You had no choice when the split-up occurred. Being a minor, you had to go wherever instructed, and you ended up with your mother. Your brother escaped to his grandparents, which shows in the steadiness of his mind as an adult. You were so innocent, just a child wanting to be loved. Instead, your mother warped your mind exposing you to a sordid lifestyle. A life of fooling the government to get any and all assistance available, a woman who denies the needs of her own offspring for that of her lover, quitting jobs because your mother wasn't the center of attention. Not to mention the physical and mental abuse you suffered at your mother's, and her lover/husband's, hands. You would think that those experiences would sink in as "red flags" for your adult life. This is where my thinking was wrong. You never learned NOT to live that way, you believed that there was no other way to live. Its a sick and viscious cycle, but you are definitely living as your mother lived. And now that you are an adult, you have found that middle ground with your mother. That place where both of you can be truly happy, where you can finally get her support. In hurting others...together. You have discovered that by working together, you can gain far more attention than if you work independently. Take, for example, your performance in court yesterday. Your mother sitting right behind you. Almost as if she was your mentor and you're in the driver's seat now. She looked so proud of you. I know how hard you tried to take away my civil liberties. At times, it looked like you were salivating. As if my rights were the prime rib and you were the au ju dipping sauce, the perfect bite. You even brought your boyfriend and his parents with you. Was that because you told them it was a "slam dunk"? Did you tell them what an evil person I was and they should see me for themselves? I am so happy to have disappointed you by staring straight ahead and not even glancing in your direction, or theirs. Did you enjoy going up against my little surprise? You didn't dream that I would have a lawyer representing me, did you? You thought the showdown was between you and me. You probably had daydreams about standing up in front of the court going toe to toe with me. How did it feel when I didn't have to say one word?! You wanted so badly for me to admit my wrongdoings in front of your boyfriend and his family. Instead, what you got was my lawyer in your face and the magistrate telling you to stop interrupting her. For me, however, it was a glorious victory. I sat silent and watch the court officials rip you to shreds. You embarassed yourself in front of everyone yesterday. Even your boyfriend's parents got up and left midway through the hearing. How did that feel when they left? They probably walked out because they were horrified at your tawdry display. I'm sure they were embarassed to have believed you. They relinquished their support for you. How does that feel? How did it feel to walk out of that courtroom without my civil liberties tucked neatly into your pocket? You didn't get what you wanted and you acted like a 3 year old. And to think that we aren't finished yet. You still have to answer for messing with my mail and there's this small claims I have against you on June 5. And I assure you, your boyfriend and his parents (or your mother) won't be allowed in the courtroom with you. You'll be on your own. See you then, my dear.
twodayzgn twodayzgn 46-50, F May 23, 2012

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