rambled thought of confusion. dont know where i am heading or where my life will be the thoughts in my mind are blank, but with so much i want to say. i hold this in for what reason i dont know. will i find love or will i always be alone. i have trusted to fast and loved to hard, gave my heart so freely now im here trying to heal the deep bitter wounds i miss him, i miss them, if only i had a lil bit of all of them in one man. they where not terriable but my own insecerities ran them away or i left because it got to hard to accept the fact that i could be loved the way they loved me but was it the right love or the love i was really looking for. i will never know. maybe i just dont truely love me. why lie on my back just to feel some kind of connection but only for a short period of time. when really i am looking for acceptance and someone to love me. some call it self destruction i call it lost. I steal for a since of control but why. i think i have control but i want more. I have dreams, wants and needs, but are they right for me. she took my son and i want him back but the lack of money seperate me from getting him. i pray that he dont forget me. cause i do love him with every peice of me. i was not the best mother and i mad plenty of mistakes i hope he will for give me. my mom is sick and she needs me but how can i help her when i need help my self. i want to be that someone thta everyone likes and is always welcome but will my past stop me. how to i get to where i am going. i want to love someone who will love me.
every day when i wake up i have a new chance to get there but how will i get there with so little resources. will some one please just help me. pain tears and low self asteem are slowly killing me. please release me from this hell i have made for me..........................I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY
hartsock hartsock
Sep 22, 2012