Why I Want To See Him **** Another WomanWhy I Want To See Him **** Another Woman
Posted February 19th, 2011 at 8:00PMReading many stories about woman who wants to see their man ******* another woman mainly heard that 'It Was Hot'. I also read a lot about the impact it can have in the relationship in terms of not having a mature and intimating relashionship and sufficient self-steam to cope with sharing a love partner.
I am confident with myself, when single have been very open minded and experiments many things sexually. only i shared a girl i had met in a swing club and arrange to see the guy i was in love with. even though he was not my boyfriend i got jealous after thinking he would want to see her again, and it was what happened. one year later she told me that they saw each other 2-3 times while she was also exploring her sexuallity. but because she had changed and wanted to keep my friendship she wanted my forgiveness.I felt really bad at the time but it had been a year by then i decided to keep the friendship and we are still friends 4 years later and she is married now too.
he had a fantasy to see me with anotherr girl. so after we got married 4 months ago i decided to do it once for him it was just a few kisses, and some breast licking while the watched and then the girl carried on with her partner and me with mine.
but sincen then i realised that on the past 2 months i started fantasize about him having sex with another woman. I get really wet about it, sometimes i have sex with him thinking of it, but I know the REASON:
I JUST WANT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF. i want, unconsciously, or conciously, that he ***** someone that is BETTER THAN me. AS if i'm not good enough. and then by having him having sex with another woman and enjoying it, it will prove to me that, that i am wortless. that she is prettier than me, that she has better body than me, etc. WHEN I WAS SINGLE with all my lovers, THEY ALWAYS PRAISED ME FOR BEING SO CONFIDENT in the bedroom, i never worried about celulite, about my body etc. and i dont in my marriage worry about those things either, but when i think about him with another girl, those are the issues that comes to mind that he will find her/them better than me.
Funny, because i have a great knowledge of my sexuality, know a lot about different fetish and taboos, but i get stuck why i want to feel bad about myself. Is it that i still feel i do not deserve to have a husband? - in the past i manly had fun sex partners, not seriously relationship. I enjoyed my single life very much and i enjoy being married. my husband is good in bed and all. we done swing in the sense of having sex in front of other people twice in a steam room. but the thougth of him with another woman as much as make my knickers completely soaking i know that is because i want to feel bad about myself.
i tried to tell me that instead of that i can just picture him thinking i am the most amazing woman - instead of wanting to feel bad - and he says that good thing about me is that whatever his sexual needs i do it for him, he said he never had a woman that whatever he wanted said yes as eargelyy as i do. so why do i want to feel bad about myself. for me it is not 'oh it will be so hot' it is more like 'oh he will enjoy him and will want her more that he wants me', now every time i do a blow job he will be thinking of her blow job. or i image him with a specific girl and imagine him telling her: 'oh yo so much better than my wife' , - this part i never mentioned to my husband, i just mentioned that i have a fantasy to see him with another woman but would not have the courage to because i am sensitive and not emotionaly ready. so when i told this to a friend she sugested me fantasizing him with another woman and telling her: 'my wife is so much better than you'. ha!!!
i did mentioned the fantasy about him with another girl, but not the way i would feel about it, i felt to embarrased sharing that part with him, so hence why i said it would not happen cause i was not emotionally ready to share and that he may find her better than me (not of him ******* someone and repeately saying 'oh you so mut better than my wife), and he said, yes there is a risk that i may happen that way where he may think someone is better than me and there is no way to know for a fact without we trying but the trying would be a risk - he said. and i know he is right . He says he can not lie, if a ask what he thougt of the other girl, if her ***** was better than mine, bla bla bla he would just say so. then he also gave a question: was there any man better than me - just so i could be in his position - . I told him it was no better or worse, just different tecniques. to which he said that then if i was to ask him about how the felt with another woman he would say ' just different tecniques' (this was a light hearted conversation on the subject).
but no matter what in the end i would want to see him with another woman just so to feel worhless (and no, i do not have tendencies to S&M, submissive, slave, etc). Guess could be some still self-steam issue still hidden inside me that i have to deal with. but in the mean time, my knickers can stop being wet thinking of this and i come like crazy thinking of his gorgeous body doing it.
Sorry for such a long text