I'm Working On Making My Life Better...

My story starts before I was even born. It starts the day my mom found she was pregnant with my dad's baby, approximately two years after they started dating. He tried to pay her to abort me and at first she disagreed. My dad was very upset and my mom was scared of what he might do. She considered running off with her ex-husband for them to raise me as their own, but eventually my mom came around to the idea of aborting me but it was a failed attempt. After the abortion failed, my mom accepted that she was going to have me, but my dad took a little longer. The day my he excepted the fact he was going to have a child, he bought a stuffed animal to give that child as soon as it arrived in the world. (this is something I still own and, as embarrassing as it is, sleep with every night.) Just before my mom had me, my parents moved in together, my mother bringing my two older half-sisters from a previous marriage. After I was born, my dad and I had an instant connection that is still present today. When I was two, my parents got married, but their marriage was terrible. My father was a drug addict, the classy millionaire type. When he was high, he used to mildly abuse my mom and they'd have an average of three violent screaming matches a day. When I was four, they separated and my mom moved in with her new lover, something I remember being forbidden to tell to my dad, who I still saw on weekends. While living with my mom's lover, which was for about 3 months, he molested me on a daily basis and only me, never touched my older sisters. Eventually, my mom found out and this drove her to move back in with my dad, but not before forbidding me to tell anyone about my experience with her ********* of a lover. We moved in with my dad and their marriage went back to the way it used to be and now, not only was my dad mildly abusive to my mom, my mom became mildly abusive towards me. The cops were being called on "the people living in the big fancy house on the hill" and my mom and sisters were spending most weekends kicked out of the house and in hotels rooms. When I was eight, the discovery was made that my dad was cheating on my mom with a woman at work. This caused my dad to lose his well-paying job and therefore cause our family to lose our money. This is when my parents began their divorce which was finalized when I was ten. After their divorce, I switched to public school, I had been in private school my entire life, and while I was there I was bullied terribly. I got very depressed while going to school there and I became bulimic and began cutting my wrists. I attempted suicide twice during my sixth grade year. I switched schools when I was twelve and became happier, but was still depressed. I had stopped cutting for the most part but was still bulimic. I didn't become fully happy until I was fourteen and I got on an antidepressant and moved in with my dad. I moved in with my dad when my mom through me out and told me she wasn't my mother anymore because I admitted to liking my dad better. But, moving to my dad's meant moving back to the school where I was bullied and while I enjoyed living with my dad, going to that school didn't work out for me. I then moved back in with my mom and went back to my better school. This is the point I'm at in my life and I have quit cutting but I'm still bulimic at age fourteen.

~19ash98
AshyWashyPatashy AshyWashyPatashy
18-21, F
Dec 5, 2012