Living With A Brain Disease

Hi, im from California. Im 17 years old and i am currently a high school student. Class of 2013 i will graduate. I always knew i had this, but never have i told anyone. i was recently told i have schizophrenia, i see & hear people, they some times tell me to kill people or they tell me to take my own life. i am depressed everyday i cry at night all the time praying god will bless me because i hate myself i hate how i look no one loves me i feel like i can kill myself any time and i dont need the voices telling me what to do i feel thats my only escape from everyone everyone hates me i have no friends because of who i am i cant control my feeling or my emotions :"( i need help im in therapy but it doesnt work :"( whats wrong with me why can i be normal? why do i have to be who i am? every night i cry myself to sleep praying im blessed with good but at school its like whats the point of it all? theres never a minute to where i dont think of taking my life, me just writing this has me crying. i just dont know what to do any more
IHatemyselfforhatingme IHatemyselfforhatingme
18-21
1 Response Dec 9, 2012

i havent but i been looking into that it kinda all depends on my grandmother on her taking me