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Discipline Without Corporal Punishment.

 My partner and I raised eight girls to adulthood. We  are very proud of our children. They are wonderful people. They reflect the guidance and the principles of decent living that we set for them by word and by our own examples.

 Many people have asked us (over the years and recently) how we maintained order without ever having to spank them.

Please bear in mind that this is our opinion. But the opinion is based our experiences as parents.

Discipline should be used to teach a child a change in a behavior pattern that will be harmful to themselves in the long run.

Discipline should not be issued when you are angry. And sometimes that is a hard rule to follow. But we had to set the example on how to respond to negative situations.

If a child broke a rule or did something that was a wrong, that had to go to their father and tell him what they did.

Then the child had to decide what their punishment was going to be with addeums from dad to add to their choice if we believed their decision wasn't reinforceful enough.

Usually the addeum was in the form of a lenghty essay explaining their behavior and what they were going to do to change it and/or much corner time.

  Dad would tell the child that they were forgiven and kiss them on the forehead.

Than Dad would tell them if there was a repeat of the behavior, it was his duty as a father to chose their discipline.

There was little repetition of a behavior by the same child. The kiss got so humiliating sometimes, that they would be asked to be hit like there friends were.

We wouldn't hit them.

We were extremely lucky that our influence as parents outweighed any external influences that could have affected our kids.

God smiled on us. We thank him every day.

We love our daughters.

And they love us.

retiredmother retiredmother 56-60, F 5 Responses Jul 5, 2009

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I was raised in a christian house which employed corporal punishments...it was terrifying and took me years to get over. We just celebrated my son's 21st birthday...he and his sister were NEVER spanked (a nice word for beating). We talked to our kids in age appropriate ways when they were growing up...their consequences were age appropriate and natural, they made amends, and usually did something nice for the person they wronged or replaced the thing they broke, etc. Both of my children are respectful, funny, very strong, and have become responsible, contributing adults with successful careers and high achieving education....THERE is NEVER a need to physically hit a child...and the psychological ramifications, fears, insecurities, and guilt can take years to overcome. I often talk to new parents, if asked, and I always discourage physical punishment...I support active contrition and making amends. Hats off to you...keep spreading the word!!!

Any time you can raise a child without physical punishment is fantastic. My hat is off to you. We took a similar approach of not spanking the children. When they turned ten we upped the anti sort of speaking. Their chores were done for their allowance. If they failed to d their chores those kids who did them split the money. When they got into trouble we encouraged our kids to understand real world issues where decision had to be made and they had to live wither decisions. Pay a fine (which would be deposited into a bank account their mother and I had access to). They could be grounded. They could accept a spanking, simple enough but their choice. They also turned out very well.

you mean you gave them a choice between grounding and spanking? did you not just go up and either spank or ground them like most parents do?

The proof is in the pudding, as they say, and the fact that you successfully raised eight (WOW) healthy, happy and well-adjusted people to adulthood is proof that your methods were sound. Congratulations and kudos, it can't have been easy.

It wiuld make no difference on the sex of the child.

that's nice, but I wonder what happen if you had a boy and it it will work the same way?<br />
thanks for sharing =]