10 Things Bout Me

1. I must have peace
2. I feel like im misunderstood
3. ima prophet
4. Im married with 5 kids
5. I use to snort cocaine/get drunk/smoke weed
6. I grew up in a very abusive home
7. I constantly analyze life to the point I have to some times pray for a break from my thoughts
8.God speaks to me through the bible like a conversation
9. Im a creative genius trapped in a box and im not sure how i got here or how to get out
10. my vision of heaven is a street with cherry blossoms with a never ending flow of pink pedals blowing in the wind.
AzulSkii AzulSkii
22-25, F
1 Response Sep 5, 2012

I create, but I don't think I'm a genius. Just maybe a competent photographer. I need peace too. I also constantly analyze to the point of madness and need to curb that. The home that I grew up in wasn't abusive so much as indifferent and I always felt like a misfit there.

You may be greater at it than you think... I seem to come up with advertisements such as slogans and commercials.. I also appreciate photography... I wanted to take that class in high school but it was to expensive...I usually fly under radar and usually say the same thing about myself..the "im alright" attitude... I'm trying to stop brushing my talent status under the rug and realize it for what it is.. and maybe if I do that I can get out of this box of acting like a chicken with the heart of an eagle.

It took me a long time to admit that I even had any talent even though everyone raved about my work. Even when I was teaching photography I kept encouraging my students more than I ever encouraged myself. It was sort of like if I admitted to having talent I would have to take responsibility for it and my argument that I'm a total loser would be invalid. lol I needed to appear incompetent or convince myself that I was simply to keep the case for my own flawed being intact. Sort of like "don't confuse me with the facts that I do good work and let me live thinking I'm an idiot lol, don't interrupt my pity party lol. Took a way long time to stop doing that to myself.

me to..... My mom told me I was stupid all the time then on top of that she raved about the works of my brother so much that I just didn't see it or anything great about myself for that matter. I then later went in to this trance of don't compliment and don't tell me I'm able because I know I'm not...Lately I've realized I can't live like this. If I don't get to my dreams and live for passion I may just die.. (internally)

lololol.. sounds like we both had the same kind of mother. My mother was fond of telling me I would never amount to anything. She once even admitted that she wasn't the nurturing type. She was very, very negative and critical about just about everything. It was so hard to get out from under that cloud.

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