7 Relationship Offences You Shouldn't Tolerate ..


Compromise is an important part of any relationship, and so is forgiveness, when your beau makes a mistake and recognizes he was wrong. But there are some things that aren’t as easy to forget as others, and some extreme breaches to your trust that are not acceptable coming from someone you love—and who supposedly loves you. Here is boyfriend behaviour we won’t tolerate, and neither should you. Check out the “Serious Scale” to see how we rated each on a scale of five, depending on how serious the offence.



Lying

Dishonesty is not an admirable trait—in anyone, not just the opposite sex. If your man has lied to you on several occasions (and we don’t count hiding the huge surprise party that your friends threw for your birthday), he may be hiding something more serious, such as activities you may not approve of, or behaviour that you may find immoral.






Serious Scale rating: 3 / 5

Pretty serious. If you suspect your boyfriend is lying to you, it may be a good idea to sit down and have a talk with him about honesty, and how important it is in your relationship.


Hanging the phone up on you

Flabbergasted? You should be. The action of hanging up on someone is extremely disrespectful, regardless of if you were saying something he might not have wanted to hear. If your boyfriend ever crosses this line, it’s important to get him to understand how insulting it is. You’ve never done it to him, so why would it be acceptable for him to do it to you?


Serious Scale rating: 2 / 5

Serious enough in our books. Once is forgivable, but talk to him about it—it shouldn’t happen again.




Cheating


Women have different views on whether or not cheating is ever forgivable. Even definitions of what is considered “cheating” can differ; is it sleeping with someone other than your partner, kissing, cuddling—or even just thinking of someone else in a sexual context? Regardless of your definition of cheating, keep in mind that although you may have forgiven him for it, it doesn’t mean he won’t do it again—or that you’ll ever be able to trust him fully even if he doesn’t.





 

Serious Scale rating: 4 / 5

Serious. Once a cheater, always a cheater is our opinion—so if you’re considering forgiving him, think long and hard about how this will affect your relationship in the long term.  Betraying your trust

If you’ve confided something to your beau and he goes and blabs to all his friends, you’ll probably feel like he’s betrayed your trust. Trust is something you build, not something that can be commanded. For some women, it may be months, even years before they learn to trust someone, depending on their past experiences, but also on their current partner and how trustworthy he’s proven to be.


Serious Scale rating: 3 / 5

Pretty serious. Not being able to trust your boyfriend to keep a secret is a big deal, but there’s good news: most of the time, men don’t realize they’re not supposed to keep information for themselves if you don’t make it clear to them in the first place. If you shared something personal with your beau and he told someone else, he probably just didn’t realize how important it was for you that he keep quiet. Have a talk with him about it—chances are he won’t do it again.




Manipulation


 

Manipulation is another biggie; manipulative men will often try to make you change yourself to better suit their taste (whether it be your clothing, physical appearance, or behaviour). In some cases, you may not even realize that you are changing, little by little, to make them “happy”. Pay attention to what your close friends have to say about your beau, and the comments they make; if they’re always saying how much you’ve changed since you’ve started seeing him, or any other remarks that indicate you’re being influenced by your boyfriend to an extreme extent, you may want to stop and think about the direction your relationship is taking.

 

 


 

Serious Scale rating: 4 / 5


Serious. You shouldn’t have to change anything about yourself to please a man: if he really loves you, he’ll never ask you to in the first place.


Not respecting your friends and family

Your family has known you since you were born, and although they may not be perfect (who is, anyway?), they are still your family—which means your boy owes them respect. Same thing for your friends: they were probably there before your man made his entrance into your life, and chances are they’ll still be there if he’s ever out of the picture; so be weary of any guy who constantly makes negative remarks about your friends, parents, siblings, etc.


 


Serious Scale rating: 3 / 5

Pretty serious. Avoid guys who disrespect your friends and family, and under no circumstances should your boyfriend try to discourage you from seeing them and keeping in touch with them!






Abuse

Any kind of abuse is unacceptable from the person you love most (or from anyone else, for that matter), whether it’s verbal, emotional, or physical. This is a given, but we’ll say it anyway: your partner laying even a finger on you in an aggressive manner means you should get out, NOW. Verbal abuse is not in the least way any more acceptable: words often hurt more than actual physical pain. And as for emotional abuse, it’s not any less of a big deal; someone who causes you to feel bad or guilty all the time definitely isn’t doing you any good.





 

Serious Scale rating: 5 / 5

Very serious. If you’re in an abusive relationship (of any type), seek help immediately. Contact a therapist, counsellor, or support group. Ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health practitioner.

All of the above are signs you may need to either sit down and have a talk with your beau, or even reconsider the relationship altogether, in more serious cases. Of course, just as none of this behaviour is tolerable coming from him, it isn’t any more acceptable coming from you, either. Make sure you’re not disrespecting each other in any way by keeping communication between the two of you wide open—for a healthy, happy relationship!

mother1983 mother1983
31-35, F
14 Responses Mar 5, 2010

What about other things for example, drug use or alcohol use where it is a problem? An addiction?

Whoops I had research on the net for this article in 2010. I did not post a link. Error of judgment again.

Hi there Little Miss 1983,

Sarge... Here, Great Topic a little on the dark.. a little one sided. Seams like the list attacked the symptoms of a difficult relationship and not the causes...

About cheating and lying...
Yes its wrong... We should all try to be better partners in our relationships.... We both have a responsibility to fulfill our partners wants and desires. Be responsible for looking good for our partners because we want to! not because we half too!

But as the Big "J" up stairs has told us... We all fall short of his glory... we are human...

For many years of seeing these problems. It comes down to the..
American Marriage ideal..
That a relationships and Marriages are a 50 /50 relationship.... for 6000 years of recorded history it has never been that way... and in the long run 80 percent of all marriages fail, Why? do to this root flaw in the programming of..
New American, New World Order Women....
Go to school.. (good thing)
Collage (good thing)
A career (good thing) time away from Family (BAD THING)
Have 2.5 kids
(yaa right 2.5 Kids? and the Insurance companies)
Drop them in day care (BAD THING)
Back to work ( Time away from Family, Bad thing)
Missing the first time you child ...
Rolls over
Says their first words.. (Daycare workers name Very Bad)
First steps
And all the rest of the firsts.. and memories given up for a pay check... all very Bad)
Its bad enough that dad has to miss it for work... Mommy shouldn't have to as well...or want to!

If you want to be one that's great... but in the long run it will fail..
Why...? Good question...! No other contract in the U.S. allows for 50/50 ownership in anything...
You cant rent a car like that..
You cant rent a apartment like that..
You cant get a hotel room like that..
You cant get a credit card like that..
You cant own a House like that..
You cant own a business like that.. (Senior Partner)
A Corporate Board has a Chairman of the Board
You cant file a your Family taxes like that..
(Must indicate head of house hold when filing jointly)
You cant fly an airplane that way.. One pilot in command..
You Pilot a boat that way only one Captain in Command..

And when you walk through the park on a nice warm night with the Moon out the stars so bright.. with the love of you life!

And a Man with a knife or gun jumps out and says give me you money...

Who Jumps Behind Who... ?
Will determine in a split second who is really in charge and who is responsible for who..?
WHO TOOK WHO'S NAME...?
WHO JOINED WHO'S FAMILY? AND WHY?

Don't get me wrong...
The Captain Commands the ship,
But the XO (Executive Officer) Runs the ship.. but in the end the CAPTAIN HAS THE FINAL WORD... AND ENDS IT

I will say it you wont like it but its true...
Its a Mans World out there.... Step out side of the United States and like Societies and find out how fast Its a Mans world...
Its just Nature...

But Men and Women will Never be Equal ..
No matter how hard Men out there try.. and I bet there are hundreds a day trying to get pregnant they never will..!
Right..? HA HA HA HA LOL
So you Women have a physical ability us Men will never have..

Embrace it... love it.. and celebrate being a Women.. !!!
From a Mans Point of view.. I really don't want to date another Man..!!!! and don't want to date a woman who acts like a man ! or wants to compete with me..! its only my point of view

I bet the fur is flying now.... Cant wait to get the replies.. LOL
Your Bud..
SARGE

I know we can have babies and men don't have a chance unless a sex change. Of course if they are serious about it. Did you got off the internet or this is in your own words?

Hay there m
Miss 1983,

Those are all my own words and research... Really... I like what you had to say .. it was very good.. but just wanted to throw in a little of the guys side.. ha ha

Sarge

Thanks for sharing.

any time young lady.... just so tire of seeing American girls and women being sold this feminist bag of goods... remember women's lib was stared mostly by lesbian women not headeral women.. the view point are going to conflict with the original root programing on your mother boards.

1 More Response

This posting I got it off the internet in 2010. I forgot to posted the website address. I am have Duh moment when I had posted.

Thank you for this list! It certainly contains much of the do-nots of relationships, and it's clear-cut too :)

Just a note on manipulation though... Manipulation is sometimes someone's way of loving. My case, my gf said she wanted to lose weight. I'd never mentioned it, have nothing against her weight per se, ... But she said that. And she asked for my help. Her attitudes towards it were chaotic and frankly useless, but I was gentle and just did my best to help her along. Well, I can say it was a rocky ride, but that'd be an understatement. But after 6 years of being together, she finally gets it. Her attitude changed, and she is working more consistently each day towards that goal (and others). I got shouted and screamed at, and she tried to claim it was all my doing. I stuck it out. I'm bearing the fruits now but seriously, I'm damaged goods and she's got some loving to do to make up for it.

Upshot: if you take manipulation from your partner, be prepared for a long, rocky ride that could well end in failure!!

You are welcome. I hope you and your girl are still together. Girls can be touchy about weight gain. I know I had struggled to lost weight when I had a baby 7 years ago. I had lost weight in 3 years by not eating too much fat stuff. I am trying to stay at a health weight now.

Thank you, yes we are together moving forward every day. I'm sure it's true especially around pregnancy time. us men have no extra work to do but answer every Beck and call. She has to suffer and lose weight! No wonder it's touchy

That is great. You can be a support boyfriend for her touchy moves. Sometimes I am born in the wrong gender.

Interesting! I never did anything close to this stuff, and still got dumped last year - after 20 years! I still don't know (or care) why - but my new gf thinks she hit the jackpot. Beautiful!

Did she found someone else or just got tired of you?

Beats me - I think got tired, but still dk. New gf still delighted, though!

damn. had I only found this list 4 years ago....................

Sorry..I had taken your list.

it's alright. thank you for sharing :3

You are very welcome.

I dislike Manipulation.

Thanks NinjaKitty.

I think this is a fabulous post. I agree with the lying. My ex would lie and then blame me.."Well, I knew how you would react so I HAD to lie to you." WTF?!

thanks for the comments

Good post. I agree. It would be even better if life was that straightforward. Yes, I'm a guy and I agree. <br />
Paco35:)

The problem with most men when they read something like this is they think that they are smarter than the billions before them and that they will not get caught. If they do get caught then instead of thinking about mending their ways they devise better ways in which not to get caught etc ad. infin.

Great post, I totally agree, "these are in my I can't tolerate list"<br />
<br />
And lying does come first.