What Made Me Happiiiii Today!

I woke up and saw him. didnt sleep well because I slept in the living room with the kids me and him dont get along and dont know each other all that well, because im a drug addict i have been for years by my doctor well the past about five years my conditiongot worst and i was on the highest dose of speed available well with in these past few years i dont remember very much and im better now my problem is that ive never been able to sleep, thats why i was put on speed because i cant focus to drive, well anyways to be honest i dont remember my boyfriend very well something happend to me i just cant remember  and that drives me insane because he acts like i hurt him really bad and i dont know how to tell him that i just only remember bits and pieces of my life for about 6 years and i dont know why so i keep telling him that im sorry for everything wellnow i feel like a new person and i am starting to remember alittle bit more as time has gone on and if i remember something i ask my parents if it happened or if it were a dream thats how bad i was i just couldnt sleep and this would go on for days at a time, my kids would hear me talking they would come out and i was asleep but my eyes would be open and im talking some time crying and that started after my husband died and then it just got worst from there I met a wounderful man after morning my husband for two years and then he was so ill that i fell in love with him and then started worring about him dieing all the time and stay awake for days then i would think he was cheating on me because my husband did and i was so tiried that some times i was talking to him but really yelling at my dead husband so well i am getting better making myself sleep i still am confused about things that went on the past years but he is very nice to me we had a son together thats why he lets me come over hes really nice i wish that some day he will get to know the real me and not the sleep depribed and drug addict that i was because i see him and im interested in him knowing him for him so thats why im happy today because i got a chance to wake up and see him this morning. 
cutie2christy cutie2christy
36-40, F
Nov 25, 2011