When 3 Becomes 4!

I found this quote while I was looking for something else. The three most beautiful words in the English language are, "I love you." And four most hurtful are, "I love you, but..." The words struck me hard, and for a few minutes I sat taking inventory how many times I have hear times I had heard, “I love you but…” and made myself a goal to never use it again myself. Those four words, whether in that particular phrasing, or another, can be so detrimental to a relationship. Even in fun, it is easy to emotionally handicap a partner by overusing this phrase.

"I love you," has its healing effects when it is used sincerely and makes the receiver of these words feel connected to the giver in the most wonderfully deep ways imaginable. However, when we are insincere with the use of these words, or use them to soft sell  a blow of criticism we are about to deliver, they can become greater than an arsenal of weapons.

  • I love you... but that haircut is hideous.

  • I love you... but you are fat.

  • I love you... but I can't understand your stupidity.

  • I love you... but your not marriage potential.

  • I love you... but I love her more.

  • I love you... but you suck in bed.

  • I love you…but that shirt is hideous.


I am guilty of using that last phrase myself frequently.  I think most of us have said something along these lines at some point in our lives and we may not even realize it.  Although we don’t realize it we are killing our partner’s spirit one word at a time.

I am taking a different approach and encourage each of you to do the same. I am going those most special to me exactly how much I love there will be no if’s, and’s or but’s about it. They will know my love is unconditional.  With that said, I have some texts, calls, and messages to send.  Will you join me?

fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
46-50, F
13 Responses Mar 15, 2010

Thank you smack. This is actually a story that I ha e read over and over myself.


That's better!



I was just so emotional that you did that.

Oh no I messed up lol.

you are suppose to use the lines!

Awwww! I a glad you did that.

However i did tell my brother when he was back last December that he was the most important person to me. If he dies this time around at least he knows.

Ive never told anyone i loved them before. So i can't say the but after it if i never said the other.

Because you are not an emotional vampire.

I have never said that to anyone before.