What To Do?!

i learned that there are different ways to wanting to send and wating to recieve love.
i didnt learn it the good way, but trough the breakup with my ex girlfriend.

she was angry with me and didnt want to see me.
-my answer: so i didnt go to her, just as she wanted
-result: she kept the same attitude with me, because her memory of me is still the same and she is now after a year still angry towards me. after the breakup she must still have had feelings for me, but after time those have passed because she didnt see me, so she never got confronted with those feelings again. also i was reading on the internet how to get her back and everybody was like use 'no contact'. this strategy is not truelly false, but i would like to rename it to "keep real life contact but no virtual contact". why? because you and her have a lot to say to eachother. both of you are really emotional, and without fysical appearance you lose a small border to say some stuff and you mess it up. talk it out in person, then you keep the balance straight of attraction and anoyances. if the balance is still negative then you know a lot more then emotional reation on facebook.
-what should i've done: after the breakup over facebook, i told her i wanted to see her right away to talk this trough in real life. but she said "no, i dont want to see you right now", what i should have done was to go anyway, be a man and be a little dominant and not a ***** who does everything she says. and if she sends me away again at her door, then at least we had some contact and a physical appearance. however i should never be angry in her pressence, that makes me look weak because i cant control the situation and give her power over me.

how to show her love after we broke up?
-my answer: send her emails and call her and tell her how i truelly feel about her.
-result: she got annoyed by the emails, as she didnt see me the words were just words, no actions. it didnt mean anything to her, i could say anything to her and it wouldnt make a difference.
-What should i've done: get over my fear and go to her, she might not be home, she might not answer. but if you go there then you show her that you mean action. you dont only say that you would do everything for her, but you really do everything for her. even if she disaproved and gets even more angry, you show her that you are serious about it, and that demands respect if she likes it or not. and you can respect yourself. everybody can send sensitive emails, a few act on them.

it is now a year that i broke up with her, her anger with me is now a stable factor in her mind just like some people dont like peanutbutter. these people didnt like peanutbutter because they had too much of it at a certain time, remind them of poo or it didnt tast well at a certain point and never tried again for years. they would probably enjoy it if they tried again, but it has become a fear for them. just like i am to my ex. it gives them a stable thought instead of doubt how things are.
- so i've looked back what i did wrong in the first weeks, can i apply this knowledge to after a year? i would like to hear your opinions about this, write them in the comments below. here is my answer:
-what i am doing: never any contact with her, but check her blog and facebook everyday, so i stay up to date. wait for her to make the first move if she is ever interested again.
-what i think i should do: never look on her blog or facebook and just go to her and suprise her dressed like captain jack sparrow. as this would be what jack sparrow would do.

(she would probably freak the **** out, but it would change her mind in some way about me)

(i dont think i would ever have the courage to do this, i might get a restraining order if i would :P)

(damn this love thing is complicated.)
phollon2 phollon2
22-25, M
Dec 2, 2012