Sleep Is My Only Relief ...

As the title says - Sleep is my only relief ... I've had enough of life.  I'm just plain worn out, tired, etc.  I would love to just donate all my organs and then someone can just get rid of these old bones.  Imagine on "free will" how many people could benefit from the organ donation of one person ??  We know that many people can.  Why do I have to wait until I die - there is no point in waiting.  My donation organs are all in good shape just waiting for someone that needs them The bones are giving out in every direction.  Years of beatings and injuries finally caught up with me.  I had two cigarettes in my life and turned every shade of green and a bunch you haven't seen.  I don't drink (very rarely) and was never into doing drugs.  I have done pretty much everything I have wanted to do in life.  I do not look forward to losing more of my vision or not being able to do things for myself.  I am feeling the limitations creep up too fast now.  If I can't remain independent I do not want to continue living.  I do not consider life a "Gift" - never did from a very young age.  I am not religious in any way so if you are please just understand this from an outside point of view.  I have to live inside of this old body.  Everyone went and died off on me and I really hate just hanging around waiting to die.  Yes  - I could end my own life but then the organs would go too (probably useless then).  It just may have to come to that one day.  Please don't judge me for my thoughts.  I think a lot of people may think this way but may be scared to say anything to anyone.  My old bones have sure had enough.  I'm not sure how it all caught up with me at once but I do know one thing ... Sleep in my only relief ...
Obsolete54 Obsolete54
56-60, F
Dec 1, 2012