From The Moment I Saw Him

I don't believe in love at first sight. At least, I didn't. Until I saw him.

It was November 19, 2009 the first day I saw him. I've added this date to memory. When I saw him I swore he was one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. He's tall and has gorgeous green eyes. He has a birth mark on his neck that peeks out from his collar; I just want to kiss it. He smells like cigarettes and booze. He's the man of my dreams.

There's no way he'd ever be attracted to me. I'm just another ugly American to him. Just a stupid undergraduate. For God's sake, the man's a Ph.D. and he's European. I have no chance whatsoever.

Now I've had crushes on professors before, it's nothing new. But this, this is something different. From the moment I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye I've burned for him. I just want to know what his lips feel like against mine.

I know this is all a dream, all a stupid fantasy of mine. Yet still, he's my dream mate personified. Of course I was going to love him. So, I go to his lectures every day and pay attention. I smile at him when he says hello and drop into his office every once in a while. Maybe he'll learn to like me as a student. Maybe he'll never see past my facade, or maybe he'll realize I'm just another undergrad stuck in puppy love. I hope that doesn't affect our relationship professionally.

Still - I don't want anybody else.

scarling scarling
18-21, F
Feb 16, 2010