LIfe After Near Death Experience

 
June 1971 I went to get my car to go to graduation of veterinary tech school. My car wasn't there. So, I decided to ride my bicycle instead. A city bus hit my bicycle and my bike fell on top off curb and I fell under the bus. So I was told anyhow. I have no reconciliation  of the accident at all or my initial two week stay in a acute hospital. I had some broken bones and head injury. Part of the back wheel got a little of me.
 My stay in the hospital somewhere in my head from what I was told my family needed to be with me 24/7 being they ,"as in staff at the hospital" couldn't keep an eye on me.  I worked in a convalescent at night during the time I was in my accident . I seemed to replace all  my patients minds in me . I took on their personality's  ,guess mine was lost at the time. So , I would keep asking for chocolate candy bars and kept forgetting I asked and received. The same as one of my patients at the hospital I worked in. Pulled my IV's out.  Was always running thru the parking lot bare at the bottom like one of my patients did .  And several other things cant really recall all that my family had told me. But I did take on their personality and not mine.
  After my family having to stay there with me on a 24/7.  They had me released to my mothers home. It took  a  few months for me to comprehend that a bus had run me over. I will never forget the day.  I heard my mother screaming at my sister about something.  I screamed.  They came in the room and told me I was hit by a bus and my behavior in hospital and all.  I then moved out of my mothers home shortly after.
I didn't feel I belonged there.  Not any bond and so distant as for them being my family.
 I was saying all this spiritual  stuff that was so deep and I had no control over the words that were spoken. I
also was very psychic .  I was able to know when something was going to happen. It scared me.
   I was a Florence Nytengal  type of person before my accident and a goody two shoes . I always wanted Jesus to be proud and to be one of Gods chosen. When I moved out of my mothers home. I took a job in a massage parlor. I worked there learning the world  and behaviors . I was like an adult in a child's body. People scared me.  Behaviors scared me. I didn't know who I was morally or at all really.  It was like a new soul having to take in life and seeing a scary world.
Several months went by and more and more I was getting flashing of me, who I was. My morals. It was like I was two different people. One in a massage parlor who only knew that life and one coming out saying you don't belong here.  Its not you. I was remembering more and more of whom I was. My mind was in conflicts and I then started to have black outs.  I went to a neurological  doctor told him about me feeling two different people emerge and feel like I'm being told what to do like I was being lead around. It was just something hard to explain to him,when I didn't understand it myself. He put me into a mental hospital. That was very scary to me. They kept me loaded up with drugs. Guess not dealing with a head injury but a nut case...See I also told them I died and came back from the accident . Guess in 1971 those doctors didn't want to believe that. so they thought best to shove medications down my throat.
 Oh but to make a very long story short. All I can remember from the accident was me laying in the street seeing my body there and my soul lifting up like I was floating up in a light.  My body got little were I no longer could see it as I went up...I felt so at peace I remember. 
I talk about LOVE how important it is..And that is the biggest word to know and understand and give. But at the same time,I see people really don't know how to .  I see they are into their own thoughts or world as much as anyone else. But LOVE, real LOVE is deep. To really be able to GIVE . to hear to know and to feel good knowing you care. To LOVE everyone even if they are different then you. Not saying you have to like them.  Its just I see people are afraid that kind of bond. I know there are few that do know how. but that's really needing to be open minded to feel someone else's heart  and let it touch yours. We all have our own minds and thoughts. Part of Loving someone  is realizing their thoughts are part of who they are,and not assume they should think like you. but understand them.
Many years have gone by. I raised two girls. Hard job ,but no matter how hard it was I loved them and still from this day I want them happy. To find peace within themselves. And to understand needs of others and not just themselves. To me,that is a gift from GOD.
But after all these years. I love my family ,as in brothers and sisters mother and dad. But I still don't feel a bond or closeness as to them being family. I can't even remember my youngest brother or even where he slept.  And the rest of my family. Just small parts . I will always feel a big part of me got lost.
  Still from this day. I hurt when I see people who is all about them and not others. I feel I'm to be there ,to help . I feel I'm the one who knows what to say to make a person feel better. I feel I can take care of others. But I don't trust anyone taking care of me. I've been abused medically. And not medically just from trying to understand the world on my own. I need health care. And I cry because I don't trust even doctors anymore. They had given me a very traumatic experience that I keep reliving and cry . I guess I now have PTD. And I don't have a clue how to get rid of it when I can't even trust a doctor no more. 
I don't want to go into the story about that now. It hurts to much. But I do understand weakness of man . But when it comes to the medical profession. When an oath is taken. I can't understand medical abuse.
There is so much to me, and I know its like I have a 3rd eye or the 6th sense. And I really need to find someone who I can  relate to with a similar experience.
 
 
thirdeye thirdeye
51-55, F
1 Response Jan 3, 2007

Accidents turly are not accidents. They are events we have happen to try and teach us something.