Because My Life Is Destroyed

You might possibly be able to get your court records sealed. I believe that might allow you to stop telling potential employers about the felony. It might be worth looking into. Expunged records may be possible, but a felony might rule that out. The one silver lining in this cloud is that 15 years ago, the Internet wasn't as pervasive as it is now. People may not be able to simply Google your name and discover your entire history through newspaper clippings.

Do look into expunging and sealing in your state. It might help a lot.

Where are you today? Have things turned around for you? I am in a similar situation though i do not have my youth to blame, instead I made a poor choice to help eleviate the financial burden of my mental health care for my son who is an an unisured adult and was struggling with depression, suicide and addiction.

I too feel the despair. I know i am not a bad person and can do something better but opportunity is limited once you have a felony.

I am praying you are in a better situation now.

thats sad and yes crazy...im going thru the same thing plus im on probation i have four kids and the last one i had i did adoption because i knew with this felonie all im guranteed is a life of struggle until i can get my **** sealed but i do what i have to do most jobs i hate an thur low paying even ****** fast food jobs no longer take felons, i respect you an just know that yea were struggling now bhu are kids our top priority always we struggle for them an think about are selfs later... are were never gonna make it and they will end up going down the same busted road and we dont want that right, but i dont know you i just thought id leave a response since were going thru the same things lol were still badass moms... dont let the justice system take that from you lol sorry i blabbed so long . ..

I want you to think instead of the possibilities. There is a way out there for you, and you have to believe that you can find it. Even people who have committed really serious crimes find a way of rising above the past and leading very successful lives. Search and you will find. Believe and you will receive.

Well I know it's difficult with a college ed to get a career with a felony. If you have done nothing else wrong you might want to see if a lawyer could help get to sealed from general background checks. If you are not getting child support, you should go to your state office and make a deal about it. They can get the money for you by garnishing wages plus many will help pick up some of the costs such as helping get you into hud housing or multi-income housing.



There are many families who are poor. Any job is a better than nothing job. It looks better to see someone who is with a job even if you are applying for other jobs. I know several single parent households who do survive off a burger king income. It is a job and job experience can help you get in a better job.



I know in our school the advisers do ask about peoples criminal background to try to let them have fields they will still be able to work in. If you still have your college credits, maybe look into going to take a class towards a field you can work in. It may not be your dream job but it can also help you get into a better paying job.



Don't let go of what you want, but look for ways to change your view and the doors that you are looking at.

" But, then again they may do well with out me,"

What the ****? Do you honesty think that your money makes them happy? Are you stupid, or what?

What makes them happy is your smile, your faith, your strength, courage and love.

If you will commit suicide you will hurt them very much. Do you want your children to fall in depression? Do you know how many peoples are poor? Billions! And they suicide? No! I am poor too, but God always help me. Trust him and pray before and after eating, when you wake up and when you fall to sleep. You must be strong. I promise you that if you will pray and have faith in God your problems will be solved very fast. Fight as long as you live. We will die at an age, but 'till then we must fight!



May God bless you, my sister.

Sometimes life has really ****** up ways to make us pay for our actions. Although I do think your punishment far exceeds your crime. I'll pray for you and your family and remember life is far too precious to give up always remember your children. They are your blessing your lasting legacy and your greatest achievement. And when all else fails remember it call only get better.

The thing that bothers me is you are trying to do better and can't get a break. How do they expect you to get a job and support yourself and your children. As for the dead beat Dad, if he willfully is not paying, I say lock him up. Why should he be out playing while you are paying. Perhaps you could even set up a fund to who ever you owe restitution and we on EP can help. I know I would kick in a little (assuming you can valid your story) to help. Just a thought but many of us are still very generous and like to help someone who is really trying to do the right things in life

Trust God, pray to Him at least 10 times per day and soon your problems will be solved. this is what I swear to you, for that I do this and my problems are solved miraculously.

-hugs-

Yes, do what the people below me are saying. In the meantime though (or if efforts to clear your criminal record don't work) don't give up hope still look for better employment. There's got to be someone out there who would see how much of a hard worker you are and are willing to look past your record.

I hope my advice helped. :)

Yes, random out of wack comment, I'm aware, but I think getting the conviction expunged is a grand idea. It's not worth ruining you life with one dumb decision, younger people make mistakes. I ought to know, I'm young, very young still and I've happened to fall upon a pit of stakes with my mistakes, some maybe not even caused by me. But I learn, everyone does, and it's better to occasionally beg for forgiveness than end it all at once.

~Destiny

Don't know if this will help you help any but I also had the same issue a long time ago...Since it happened over 15 years ago you do have several options to you regarding what you are going through(also depends on the state)....If you have fullfill the probation part it is not considered part of the public record anymore(it will always be a part of the courts) then after 7 years you don't have to put it on your apps that you fill out that you had a felony. Since your still paying the fine You need to check to see if the probation was closed or still open due to the fine not being paid off yet... You can get the fine changed to show that it is a debt so that it isn't a part of your case..It all depends on if your case is open or not.Go to your old probation officer and ask if the probation was full fill(they will have a record of it that the judge signs).

Most employers don't care about records that are over 7 years old and since they can't check back anyway unless you tell them, it is also illegal for them to make it a part of the hiring process...Like I said it depends on your states court system but here in Idaho/Washington I am not required to say I had a felony anymore.

On your child support issue, go to the child support enforcement agency in your state...It is free and they can get child support for you from any state he is in.



Good luck and if any questions let me know

We don't even know you, but LOVE runs deep to help you up and out from pit to place so the legacies you leave will be greater and brighter.



Couponing, in USA 99% of restaurants throw away food EVERY night...some of these places will hand over if you ask for with the intention of donating it to the needy :-).

Regarding ones thought life reading a Proverb a day will give you wisdom for living and making great strides from your situation. Also downloading wwwdotklovedotcom to your radios and phone will help to have positive thoughts from positive music.



During process of overcoming you want prayer: 1-800-759-0700 genuine, kind and loving folks will gladly help you.



Often many make fun of fastfood, but you can get the ball rolling for you nevertheless. I believe you have to learn to to have TOUGH skin during this process, look and see who is not for you and stay away from those people. Look for where you wanna be and see people who are there and ask questions and prepare yourself accordingly. Knowing what you learn and do from living your children are doing the very same, so learn on purpose.



Be patient with yourself, write a vision and do a dream board and place over your bed or on the wall, so you see where you're heading. I believe EVERYTHING you need you have: resources check the library, PLEASE READ.



Need money look for a books by Matthew Leskco and take notes.



What are your gifts, talents, abilities, skills...if you don't know ASK folks, friends, people you're around. Life is funny, others see things we miss. What is unique about me? What do you think id be good at? Do I like writing? Talking? What's my learning style?



Change your speech...if all you have known is the bottom then your speech will reflect. Change your perspective, God taught me through his promises who I am and my purpose and as a result I went from death to life in esteem. I flunked college twice and was a bottom feeder, today I own and run several businesses. How do you see yourself?



There's a movie I saw recently called The Help, one made taught a lil girl three sayings: I am smart, I am intelligent, I am important...add to those I am beautiful, I love myself, I am a great mom, I am successful, I am brave, I desire to live and improve my life... :-)

hey! read Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts



btw....what did you steal?

It's the felony conviction that's causing you problems. It's the stupid choices. Like getting knocked up by a deadbeat three times. That's dumb. And yes, doing stuff like that will irreparably destroy your life.

The most important thing for you now is to be positive. Being positive helps a great deal. Your note feels you have a dark sense of foreboding and like you have this negativity in your mind that you are a failure. You need to wipe this attitude out of your mind or else it will also destroy the children.

You need to seriously follow the law of attraction.

Everyone goes through problems in life but you're a loser only when you quit hoping and trying. Try and meet good positive people. I am from India but I live in Dubai. If you do want to be friends, you can add me and I hope I can bring a positive attitude in your life :)

Cheers. Keep smiling! Tomorrow will be a better day.

The most important thing for you now is to be positive. Being positive helps a great deal. Your note feels you have a dark sense of foreboding and like you have this negativity in your mind that you are a failure. You need to wipe this attitude out of your mind or else it will also destroy the children.

You need to seriously follow the law of attraction.

Everyone goes through problems in life but you're a loser only when you quit hoping and trying. Try and meet good positive people. I am from India but I live in Dubai. If you do want to be friends, you can add me and I hope I can bring a positive attitude in your life :)

Cheers. Keep smiling! Tomorrow will be a better day.

i too mess up at 18 and have had to deal with a felony i got then. it is hard to find a good job. i have been able to make the best of things. it takes a long time to find the good job. if you have to do fast food till you find one then do it. getting your record expunged will help tremendously. even without doing that it is possible to get ahead of making a mistake. that's what life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. it is a hard road but i know from experience that the road does get easier if you try harder.

Someone suggested you write a book -- great idea! It has the potential of "starting a new life" for you. I am willing to help you. Are you interested?

Every state has a procedure for having your civil rights reinstated. Look into it.

Well your life serves as a warning to others to stay on the straight and narrow. You could think of others instead of yourself and give to others. Also there is a very false perception it appears you have. Licensing isn't the key to life. Neither are degrees. These are merely just a very first step in the process. Every good person has to build their own life from scratch step by step. Lacking barriers merely shows to the world that they have made careful choices their whole lives. You haven't and it's simply a true fact like their lack of barriers is a true fact and reflection of them. It doesn't mean they will go on to be an expert in their field, it doesn't mean you can't be. It doesn't mean you can't develop character and show moment by moment that you are trustworthy. You decide your substance not other people. And it's substance, not image that matters. You seem to still think that image is what matters. A degree isn't a selfish pursuit it's about wanting to learn about the world you live in and make it a better place. If you are thinking of a degree in a selfish way than a barrier to credential would make you not want to pursue one. If you are thinking of getting a degree to learn about the world and what's right and wrong with it and wanting to make a difference- now that's substance and you will pursue it and no one will be able to stop you from making a difference. It's not the law that needs changing or barriers that are the problem - these laws and barriers are merely a true reflection of each individual and the choices they've made in life and a humble good person would not mind having to live with an accurate reflection.

Well your life serves as a warning to others to stay on the straight and narrow. You could think of others instead of yourself and give to others. Also there is a very false perception it appears you have. Licensing isn't the key to life. Neither are degrees. These are merely just a very first step in the process. Every good person has to build their own life from scratch step by step. Lacking barriers merely shows to the world that they have made careful choices their whole lives. You haven't and it's simply a true fact like their lack of barriers is a true fact and reflection of them. It doesn't mean they will go on to be an expert in their field, it doesn't mean you can't be. It doesn't mean you can't develop character and show moment by moment that you are trustworthy. You decide your substance not other people. And it's substance, not image that matters. You seem to still think that image is what matters. A degree isn't a selfish pursuit it's about wanting to learn about the world you live in and make it a better place. If you are thinking of a degree in a selfish way than a barrier to credential would make you not want to pursue one. If you are thinking of getting a degree to learn about the world and what's right and wrong with it and wanting to make a difference- now that's substance and you will pursue it and no one will be able to stop you from making a difference. It's not the law that needs changing or barriers that are the problem - these laws and barriers are merely a true reflection of each individual and the choices they've made in life and a humble good person would not mind having to live with an accurate reflection.

Look for another job I'm in the same boat cr have the job I desire because of stupid mistakes when i was young but guess what life goes on find another goal its a no win situation so go with the flow and find some thin else your good At no good dwelling in it your have the most precious things in it hands thats ya kids sorry like but every thing else comes second to none in my books cherish what ya have a nd grow think of something else you would like to do rather than dwelling on some thing you can't have good luck x

Brother I felt the way you do no for seven years. My ex wife soiled my name, and even worse destroyed my relationship with my children. While I am no Saint, doing more than my far share of bad deeds, this women left me for another man, yet to maintain a strong position with our at that time) 5th and 6th grade children, did everything in her power to destroy me. She held a fairly high office in our local government and she even used that to push me into self destruction.



As I said for seven years this went on. And for seven years I failed miserably. But just before Christmas of that seventh year my children (Know in High School) came back to me! What a glorious day. And every day since then has been as well.



They saw that the mark of any man is how he handles the times of crisis. Well I made it out the other end so there was good news. But for the most part I failed measurable for seven years. I am embarrassed of how I handle that time of torment and when I reflect on it I find myself more embarrassed of my own actions during that time than I was/am of the lies that my ex used to try and destroy me. Although her lies were far worse than my actions were, it is my mark, that period of time in crisis and how i weathered it that i feel most people judge me by.



I guess my message is hang tough, this will pass. Endure your turmoils as a gentleman. Be strong and keep the faith. Even though you can't see the light right now it is there. God Bless and be safe!

How did you manage to have three children without the certainty of getting child support? Ok that's judgemental - but don't you have helpful parents? Friends? I think your problems are more of organisation than anything. A past conviction shouldn't be holding you back all these years later. Do everything you can to have it expunged

if you have no other felony arrest you ca file paper work with the court and have it removed after 3 years

Start your own business. It's tough but the payoff is good. I know a lady who owns a hair salon. Started out cutting hair for someone else. She now owns the salon, a house on the beach, and 2 other houses. Another woman started a cleaning business. It grew and she no longer cleans but has 10 employees. She now owns her house outright and is putting money away.

I really do wish you the best and I hope that you can overcome this obsacle in your life. Always treat your babies right, it's amazing to see your kids grow up strong and smart as a person. I wish you all the best.

I have some thoughts - first what was your college degree in?