Because My Life Is Destroyed

I don't know really where to begin.  My life has been in shambles since I was 18 and I don't see how its ever going to change.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. 
When I was 18 years old (young and dumb) I was convicted of a felony theft.   This single criminal act has completely ruined my life.  I did not go to jail but I may of well had.  People make mistakes especially young people.  I am not suggesting that there shouldn't be any consequences for your actions.  But, a life time of barriers and restraints is far too much.  It has been over 15 years and I still face the same collateral consequences for a felony conviction.  I cannot obtain employment and descent housing. If I cannot find a job how am I to survive.  Yeah I can work at burger king (maybe) but who is that going to support. That won't support my family I am a mother of 3 children and I do not receive a penny in child support.  I went to college to further my education only to find out that once I am done with college I cannot obtain a license in my major no matter how far up the educational latter I go.  I am stuck with the
"mark of Cain."  It is depressing I have contemplated committing suicide several times.  If it were not for my children and my concern for their well being than I probably would of done it by now.  But, then again they may do well with out me, at least they'll live better not povern because of mommies mistake.   I wish I could start a new life...But there is no such thing for me the "mark of Cain" will forever find me...
wasigirl wasigirl
31-35, F
123 Responses Oct 20, 2010

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I am in the exact same situation. I am also a minister on top of things. The enemy comes to kill,steal,and destroy your life, but you must never give up the good fight of faith. The light is at the end of the tunnel, but know everything that you are going through is strengthening you. You will have a very powerful testimony to encourage someone else to never give up..

Thank you

Hey. I go through the same feelings, right down to the fact if it weren't my children , there are times I would have killed myself. Realistically though? Gotten a new identity if it didn't mean losing my rights to them. Anyways, I've lost a lot with becoming a felon and I'm really scared of life as one. But my friend said something last night- I can choose to let this destroy me, or find it as a blessing. Everything happens for a reason and it's my job to cope with it and make it into something I can work with rather than be destroyed and carry myself like a loser the rest of my life. Look on google about people with felonies not letting it destroy their lives. You're the only page that pops up saying it has. Everyone else is very inspiring and I think you should look it up. People even went to law school and became DAs and such