I Want To Fall In Love Again

Okay, here it is. I need help. I've gotten help before. But this time I'm seriously of need of something. I'm lost. I keep finding myself right back where I started.
I wake up every morning, praying for something to give. Anything.. I ask God, can I have a good day today? Just one is all I want. I want to start over. I want drive so far away that no one will ever know me. I want to meet new people. I want to fall in love again... Anything.
For awhile I was happy. Then one day I feel into the depression again. Now I look at everything that is wrong with my life, and the truth is, it all comes down to one thing.
I love him. And I just want him to tell me he loves me back. I just want to hear him say my name again, I made a lot of mistakes.. But seeing him with her kills me everytime. Its like he's taking a knife, stabbing it in my heart and saying "I never loved you" How could this be possible. I expected so much out of him. I wanted so much from him.
I never thought he'd be here just to watch me bleed.
I want to know love away from him. I want to start a life with someone new, Someone who won't make me feel like I lost everything I ever had.
RoseDawson RoseDawson
18-21, F
6 Responses Dec 13, 2010

thank you techno. I appreciate the help.

We tend to miss the person we loved now that they are not there. Even worse is when they are with another. It can consume one's thoughts and drive one crazy (depressed & anxiety) . It is hard, but if he wants you as much as you want him, he would be there or at least compassionate to your hurt and pain. <br />
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In my research on this issue I have been told that while the man is with the other woman, his thoughts of your will be less and less as long as he continues to be with other females. It's time for you to take care of yourself and get your power back again. This will help you get the man in your life that you deserve and know will love you as much as you love him.<br />
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Put this link into your browser and listen to it:<br />
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzmRF4iSOGQ&list=PL153C8FA4759384ED&index=1&playnext=8<br />
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Be happy for yourself..love yourself first and for most.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. Its a lot better than it used to be, but sometimes it hurts like nothing i've ever felt before. <br />
Noisycricket-It's terrible missing someone. But the worst part is having him right in front of you ad knowing you cant have him <br />
Quintesse-As always thank you. It does suck seeing him we're friends with the same people. Worst part about that is that I introduced to him to all of my friends, and now I feel like I'm the one falling away from them... He's with someone I introduced him too now. It will get better for the both of us. I know it, it has too. <br />
Blogger-Thank you so much for the advice. It makes since and I will certainly take it :)

if you really want to come out of this and start afresh....see him as often as you, go through the pain "he doen't love you now" as much as possible...and soon you will reach to saturation..believ me..more u avoid , more u get attarcted or tempted to :)<br />
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good luck!<br />
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I'm sorry you are suffering. It is hard for you because you have to see him. <br />
I know that pain, the wanting to just erase the unpleasantness and just start over.<br />
Time, Rose. That's the refrain I am hearing, so I am passing it on to you. Maybe a chapter has ended so a new one can begin. That's another one I am hearing a lot. I know they are meaningless to you right now because the pain is so intense, but I also know that when people say them it is because they are trying to help and they don't know what else to say. <br />
One day you will wake and you will realize that you are breathing a little easier. That will be the beginning. I hope it happens soon for both of us.

Me too!!! I feel the same exact way...I MISS Him ;(